the diabolical mind at bedtime

Sometimes I wonder what goes on in my kid's head.  But these days, at bedtime, I'm pretty sure though that it's something like this:

7:00 pm -- Insist on going outside.  And taking my ride.  That'll do it!  By the time they get the dirt off me and get back inside, maybe they'll forget that it's almost bedtime already.

7:15 pm (assuming the outside tactic did not work; if it did, at least 7:30pm):  "No!!!  No books!"

7:35 pm -- Fine, if I have to read, then I want to read a million of them.  Wait, wait, not that one. "No!!  THIS one.  Umm, THIS."

7:45 pm -- Hmm, this book reading thing isn't so bad.  I wonder if I can get Dada to read more if I look cuter and ask nicely.  

7:50 pm -- Laugh while he changes your diaper and say "pee-yew."   That usually gets him laughing for a few minutes longer.  Take your time picking out pjs.  Ask for more milk. Make sure you have every single lovey blanket you own with you.     

8:00 pm -- Insist on mama. Insist on mama.  Because she's probably in the middle of something in the kitchen.

8:01 pm -- Look cute for mama.  She's the soft one.  Tell her, "mama!  Nose!"  She'll be proud of you for knowing where your nose is.  Sometimes, she'll pretend to be asleep.  Just keeping yelling "Mama!!"   Poke her eye if needed.  

8:02 pm -- Standing!

8:04 pm -- "Mi?  Dada!!!!   Dada!!!!  Mi!!!"  Because Dada loves running over to bring you more milk.  Tell him you want it cold but then ask for it to be warm AFTER he gets there with it.  

8:15 pm -- Hmm, all that cuteness and Mama still left you in the crib????  Oh well, time to practice walking.  And singing.  And jumping.  And playing with the 7 thousand lovey blankets they let you keep in your crib now.  When else do you have all this privacy?

8:30 pm --  Uh oh, Dada's back.  Tell him you've pooped.  He might sniff you for a minute but then leave you back to your jumping.  Or insist on Mama, that works too.  

8:45 pm -- Uh oh, Mama!!!  Gather your million lovey blankets, dive back down and pretend to be asleep. She'll totally buy it.  If not, tell her your hungry.  Yell, "Dada!!!!!  Dada!!!!  Rice???"  If you've been sick, that might work and he'll actually bring you some.  

9 pm -- Dammit, can't say awake anymore.  Feeling so sleepy .  . .