Moving on

I've gotten used to working with smart people, and that's probably one of the things I'll miss the most when I start my new job in a few weeks. Well, that, my five-minute commute, coming home for lunch, being in charge of my own hours, the variety of cases I get to work on, etc. Going in to get fingerprinted last week for the new job's background check, I already began to realize how different working for the federal government will be.

For one thing, around here, everyone's pretty darn sharp. Between them, there's not much of anything I can't get answered. And even the oldest attorney (in his 80s) might not know how to use the computer or remember where he set his file down (honestly, neither can I half the time) but he doesn't miss a beat when it comes to the legal stuff.

I'm pretty sure the conversation I had at the federal office last week would have never happened here. Well, some of the guys here have poor hearing, so maybe if the hearing aid had been running low on batteries . . . . But I'm pretty sure the guy at the new place is just downright dumb.

So I got my fingerprints taken for my background check -- not automated, had to actually run my hands in ink, that was fun. Then I walked over to the office supervisor's desk to hand over my forms. The first thing I mention is that my documents are all partially in my old name, partially in my new. But I brought my marriage license to show that I'm married now, so hopefully they recognize that I'm the same person. Apparently I had launched into Greek or something cuz clearly this guy did not understand what I was saying. He launched into this long spiel about the kind of documents I need (dude, its pretty much the same documents any employer asks for -- either a passport or DL/social security card -- I HAVE worked before for crying out loud and what did that have to do with me getting married anyway?). So anyway, he finished his little monologue, I did try to interject a couple of times to say that I brought ALL of my documents because most of them are still in my old name . . . my DL is interim one and has no pic, my passport is in my old name, my social security card is the only one that's fully in my new name but has no picture ID either. But he seemed intent on whatever his deal was so I finally just stopped talking.

About 10 minutes later, he finally actually LOOKED at my documents so that he could make copies. And I literarally saw the moment his little brain clicked into gear, as he asked, "Oh did you change your name recently?" I explained that yes, as a matter of fact, I had. "Hmm, that might slow down the background check. Let me call some one to ask." So lucky me, I had to sit there for 10 MORE minutes while he tried to figure out how to deal with this totally earth shattering new development.

Awesome, government work here I come.