SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX

Bet that got your attention, right?

So I have to admit to a somewhat guilty pleasure. No, I don't mean THAT! Dude, get your mind out of the gutter. I mean, sure, there's definite pleasure there too but nothing guilty about it. But moving on to business . . . I know it’s a bit odd but I love advice columns and call in shows. Loveline with Dr. Drew? To this day, if I happen to be driving kind of late on a weeknite, I'll flip over to see what kind of sex advice the good doctor is doling out. Any paper with an advice column? I'm there. (right after the comics). And I'm not above looking for Ann Landers columns online now and then. Actually, more than the advice itself, I like hearing/reading the questions. I don't know, there's something about getting a glimpse into some one else's life and problems. . .

Lately, I've been able to add to my addiction a bit. There's a new talk show on the radio called "Sex with Emily." I don't actually like it that much. Mostly its this chick rambling on about sex-related topics, but ocassionally they have listeners call in with questions. And of course, those are the parts I like. If I'm bored at work, I'll download an episode now and again to my computer and have it running in the background while I work (with headphones on, of course). And there's an advice website that I discovered recently called "The Mouthy Housewives" that I'm liking a lot too. Its usually people writing in with questions about parenting answered by one of several different women, depending on who's up, I guess. They're all pretty funny, so I find it entertaining even though I don't have kids. And they do branch out quite a bit. Last week, they had a very enlightening response about what to do when your dog gets poop hanging from her butt and can't seem to get it out. Clearly, this has happened to me before (several times with Mia!), so I was interested in hearing about the proper protocol.

Anyway, my fascination with this stuff has recently brought a very disturbing fact to light. Are there really that many people out there that don't like sex or don't have good sex? On Emily, a lady called in and had a fairly lengthy question about her boyfriend. They had been together for 8 years. They didn't have good sex. For 8 years, she'd been holding out, ready to be married. And he didn't seem to be there yet. Etc. Etc. During her rambling, I was confused about why she wasn't more concerned about the sex part. She actually threw that in as a little bit of an aside. Really, her question was about how long she should wait before giving up on him and moving on. Is it just me that cringes a little at the thought of marrying some one you don't have good sex with? I mean I'm not saying its more important than any other quality, but isn't it part of the package? To me, if there's no chance of there being any magic in that arena, I'd give some pretty serious thought to marrying that person. And if you do happen to already be married when you discover this unfortuate fact, wouldn't it be the first thing you work on? Is that me being naïve or idealistic? Fortunately, that was the first thing the therapist on the show picked up on, too. And no matter how much the caller (and the annoying producer who kept telling the caller she shouldn't nag her guy too much) tried to go back to the getting married issue, the therapist stayed on point and insisted that the couple need to first have a talk about the sex.

Also, check out this recent question on Mouthy Housewives. Again, I'm so glad the response focused on what I think to be the most disturing aspect of the question. Really? You want to bitch cuz you don't like when you have sex? And not because you don't like having it in the first place? Does anyone else see the bizareness of this? Aside from the fact that I also find it completely insane that a couple that's been married for any length of time can't just openly talk about when they want to do it.

On a more positive note, that episode of Emily also had a caller who was in her 60s. And her question had to do with how to help her husband who has recently started having physical difficulties with that aspect of their relationship. All right, I'll just say it. He couldn't keep it up anymore, if you catch my drift. And he was embarrassed and didn't want to see a doctor. It was SO encouraging to finally hear from some one who clearly had a healthy and comfortable sex life. Who knew to ask the right questions and have the right conversations. But honestly, lately, I'm wondering if she's the exception rather than the norm. Maybe I'm just running in the wrong circles or something. Or maybe the problem is that I'm basing my ideas of the cultural climate from people who call into radio shows.