harry + sally

So lately, I've been thinking a lot about relationships. In a jumbled kind of way, and for a variety of random reasons. For one thing, I was thinking about how cool it would be if G and I were one of those totally cute couples that people couldn't help but adore. Not the sickeningly sweet kind that engages in PDA all the time. But you know, the cool ones that people strive to be. Like Booth and Bones in that show "Bones" -- have you seen it? That's actually what had me thinking about it. They're this forensic anthropologist/FBI agent duo that solves crime. Awesome show! And the main characters aren't officially a couple but they're so cute. And honestly, I'm not one of those people that wanted Rachel + Ross to get together on Friends, or any one else on TV for that matter. But these guys are pretty bad ass. So, I've been trying to think of ways that G + I can be more like them. Any suggestions would be very helpful.

I think if he had to (you know, like if he were being tortured to name SOMETHING), G would describe our current relationship as something similar to that couple on Medium. She's the psycho; he's the rational and calm one. Sure, I don't see dead people or anything, but I'm pretty sure that's how he views our relationship most of the time. So clearly, we have a long way to go. Though I guess its not about how he sees our relationship. Really, it's about everyone else.

OK, I know what you're thinking - that man, she really must have a ton of time on her hands at that stupid training. And it's true, I definitely do.

But actually, I’ve been thinking about a lot of relationship-related stuff for a while. Lately, I’ve been feeling like it’s about time for some changes in my life. There’s a friend that I’ve been mad at and don’t really want to deal with anymore. And of course, I can’t say it because damn, it’s SO much harder to break it off with a friend than a boyfriend. Not that I was ever good at that either. I usually took the more passive, ignore-him-long-enough-and-eventually-he’ll-get-the-picture, approach. Also, my dog seems to love G way more than she does me, and I’ve been trying to figure out how to fix that. Terrible, right? I rescued that ungrateful b-atch when she was a tiny little puppy! Totally saved her from a brutal existence in a plush San Diego Humane Society where she had her own TV (but I mean, come on, we know it’s about more than material possessions!). AND, since coming back from India, I’ve wanted to be closer to my family. And oddly, it’s so much easier to imagine being closer to my family who lives across the continent than it is, say, my parents who live along the same coast.

My brother (who I’ve seen quite a bit of lately cuz I’m STILL stuck here in Auburn until the end of the week, but with more limited internet surfing/email time this week, ARGH!) made an interesting comment lately about how he finds family situations awkward. And that it probably stems back to our own complicated relationship with our parents. G’s commented on this before too, that when we go home to see our folks, my brothers and I waste no time running off to some other part of the house. It used to be our old bedrooms. But now, my parents have moved into this huge house that offers more opportunities for getting the heck away. G thinks it’s bizarre, but I don’t know. It’s kind of ingrained in us to get far away as quickly as possible.

The thing is, it’s so hard for me to forgive things. And I guess that’s where all my relationship problems come from (well, except the Mia thing, that’s just wrong). I hold on to every little slight, every wrong – imagined or real. So of course I can see myself easily building closer relationships with family that I barely see. They haven’t done anything to me. But my parents, my friends, I don’t know. That’s so hard. How do people do it? And it’s not just me, I hear about stuff all the time from other people too who are holding onto things from childhood, whether they realize they’re doing it or not.

And I guess that’s what all this has been about. I mean, sure, I’m bored, so I’ve started likening our lives to TV characters. But I guess I’m also curious. Cuz when G and I fight, that’s usually what it’s about too, me bringing something up that happened a long time ago. And honestly, there’s no way we can get close to having a solid TV-like relationship (where we look super cute and everyone looks at us jealously) until I learn to let things slide a bit more. So how does everyone else do it?