the worse is yet to come

A few weeks ago, I admitted to some coworkers that we had never baby-proofed.  “Not even socket covers?” one of them asked.  Nope, not even a single socket cover.  The most we’ve done is buy a mat for a section of brick in front of our fire place.  And we only did that because the little D’s play mat is right in front of it, and we figured it was a head banging waiting to happen.

Usually the response when I say such things is a little bit of awe.  So lately, I’ve been pausing to think of how lucky we’ve gotten with our little one.  I almost have to do this because there seems to be so much screaming all the time these days.  And I need to think of something/ANYTHING to calm myself down.

So ya, our claim to fame is that we’ve never baby proofed.  For a few weeks, back when she was less than a year old, the little D started a practice where she’d crawl over to sockets while I was in the shower and couldn’t get to her.  It entailed a few soapy exits on my part, but it didn’t really last.  I waited for it to get worse, but it never did.  These days, I still shower with her in the bathroom.  I set a few toys on the floor and she either plays with them or entertains herself playing peek a boo with me from around the corner of the bathroom.  The moment the shower turns off, she’ll ask me, “all done?” and then take off.  It’s bizarre.  She can take off any time she wants.  I leave the door open.  In the beginning, I’d close of all the bedroom doors and put the dog gate up in the hallway so she didn’t have far to wander.  But I’ve realized that she doesn’t really want to go anywhere.  A few times she opened the cupboard but realized there was nothing exciting in there for her to play with.

When we visited my father-in-law a while back, he was impressed that she made no move for the big bowl of water that was set out for the dogs.  I wasn’t surprised.  For a while, when she was first learning to crawl, she liked playing in the dog water.  It was disgusting and she’d be covered.  I couldn’t help it, I laughed every time she did it.  Finally, I managed to stop and mostly ignored her(other than to change her every time she did it).  It was a quick phase that she outgrew before we knew it.  Clearly, we didn't do much to try to break her of the habit.  These days, she seems to know that it’s off limits.  Early on, I think she realized that it was for the dogs.  What’s funny about it is that if G were to take the exact same bowl, clean it out and fill it up with water for her to play with, she’d go to town.

Speaking of dogs, she’s never tortured ours.  Maybe their size puts her off a little, but she has no problem telling Tucker to “beep beep” or chasing Mia with her bike.  Or kicking them off their beds.  Or yelling for them to come "here."  So I don’t think it’s fear necessarily.  She pets gently.  She’s never tried to climb on Mia, although we’ve put her on Mia’s back plenty of times.  And she usually waits patiently for them to move when they’re in her way.  Well, or cries at me, but doesn't get too pushy with them.

She hates diaper changes but will help by lifting up her butt.  She’s never tried to roll off the table.  If I’m changing on the floor, she’ll wait patiently until I tell her I’m done and that she can go.  Even in the midst of a screaming fit, she’ll cooperate (for example, she might not like you putting her pants on, but she’ll hold her legs out while tantrum-ing).  She respects the edge of the bed and has never tried to fly off it.  I think both G and I have even dozed off while she played quietly between us.

We buy toys that caution against small parts and choking hazards.  Even as a tiny baby, I can’t remember her really trying to eat anything she wasn’t supposed to.  I let her play with lima beans and rice kernels.  G lets her play with his wedding ring.  G fed her a cherry a while back and she ate the fruit but spit out the pit.  I often set her on the kitchen counter while I’m cooking, and let her stir.  If she sees stray pieces of dog food on the ground, she’ll put it in the dog bowl.  She can open any cupboard she wants.  We never bothered putting away our medicine or cleaning supplies.  In fact, for a while, we let her play with the Excedrin bottle (I wouldn’t recommend that though, just FYI.  Because there will inevitably be a time when she manages to open the bottle and pills will go flying all over the room, and you wonder if just maybe she decided to eat one.  And then spend the rest of the morning googling about babies who eat Excedrin.).

I have no idea how it happened.  And my kid is definitely not an angel.  God, anything but.  Just with respect to child proofing, we’ve never had to be that concerned.  I’m not sure how we got this lucky.  If anything, I’d say G and I are more permissive than not.  Pills?  Sure, why not, take this bottle, it’s bigger.  Wanna go play in the cupboard?  Here, may as well put this away while you’re over there.  The dresser?  Sure, just watch your fingers.  And the thing is, I'm not saying all this to brag.  I think, mostly, I'm just scared.  Because now that we've had it good, we're about to have another.  And I'm terrified that our house and all the little D's toys will be a million death traps for a wild-and-crazy #2.  What do you think, anyone care to bet on this with me?

my kid's HELLA smart

So, ages ago, our pediatrician suggested that we get the little D into physical therapy.  I asked our ortho about it, and she said, no, we don't need it.   She'll catch up when she's good and ready.  And of course her legs are stiff because she was still in the brace at the time.  So PT was unlikely to do any good because well, hello, her legs were going to go right back into that position for a good portion of the day.

Of course I happened to mention this to my folks and they wouldn't let it go.  "What about physical therapy?"  my mom would ask incessantly.   Because, you know, she knows best, and we all know my mom's propensity for getting the best deal from our docs.  Apparently a friend of theirs, a pediatrician, had also asked about PT.  It could just be one of those things where reasonable minds differ, but I'm going to go with the opinion of our specialist who treats our daughter for the condition, thanks very much. And I say that even though I love our ped and trust her quite a bit.  And you know, my mother and whichever random friend she was talking to.

And the annoying thing was that my mom would NOT let it go.  "Your mom was saying she'll be fine after she gets some physio" a cousin from India was telling me one time when we were talking about Diya's hips.  Um, ok yes, sure.  After every ped appointment, my mom would ask pointedly, "What did your doctor say about the hips?"  Usually, I'd blow it off with something along the lines of how we went to our ped for a regular check up, not for hip stuff.  Once, she said, "But pediatricians know a lot too."  And I knew exactly what she was passive-aggressively referring to.  OMG, already, my mother does not know how to let something go.  And really, why would you go against the advice of your specialist and worry about somehow undoing all the progress you've already made?  It made no sense to me.  But I think the difference between our ped (and my mother apparently) is that they were concerned about the little D's milestones, that she wasn't standing/walking, etc.  But our ortho (and G and I) are concerned first with the state of her hips.  Kids with dysplasia are perfectly capable of standing and walking, which is why the condition can sometimes go undiagnosed for a while.  It doesn't say much about the actual hip development if she can walk or not.  So while we waited anxiously for her to reach each milestone, I think the priority had to be first on the x-rays.

In January, when our ortho decided to let the little D free from her brace entirely, her hip wasn't quite fixed yet.  But what tipped the decision was that our kid was still really stiff, and our doc thought giving her some time to loosen up could only help with the hip development.  Well, last month, we had our hip appointment and guess what, our kid's hips are PERFECT!   The ortho actually said that she had to look at the old x-rays to remind herself which hip had been dislocated!!!!  So as far as the radiology is concerned, we are totally in the clear.  We'll continue to monitor to make sure everything is developing correctly, but I think the chances of her needing any further intervention are pretty slim now.  We'll still keep going in for increasingly less frequent x-rays until the little D's 18, so we'll become excellent friends with our ortho.

So NOW, it's just a matter of catching up.  And so far, she's still really stiff.  Having her off the brace helped a lot, and we see so much improvement, but we still have a long ways to go.  So at this point, our ortho doc thought it might be a good time to try some physical therapy.  HA, guess what I'm not telling my mother?  :)

Anyway, we've been going for a few weeks now.  A day or two before we went, Diya took her first few steps unassisted.  I didn't see it, but G did.  At the PT appointment, she took a few more and it was exciting for me to see it finally.  Oh, guess what, too?  The PT has all kinds of toys to get the kids to do stuff, but you know what our kid likes?  These little fruit/yogurt bites.  So yah, we tempt her around the room with treats, similar to how we did our dog training.  :)  The PT's sort of helping her walk but she seems to agree that D is pretty close on her own already.  Instead, she's more focused on the stiffness.  Our kid doesn't really bend her knees when she walks, especially with her "bad" leg.  Her hips are extremely stiff. So she's given us exercises to strengthen the pelvic bone and the hip, and to make her use her right hip when climbing.  She noticed for example, that when she's coming to a stand, our kid leads with her left hip and then just kind of drags her right one along after, without having to put weight on it.  So this means she's been developing unevenly as far as strength goes.

Kind of as aside, the PT has also been doing some developmental testing to gauge the little D's abilities in other areas.  And is it sad that THIS was the reason I wanted to post?  I mean, sure I'm EXCITED about the hips, and THRILLED about the walking.  But guess what had me cheerful all last week?  Our kid apparently has amazing fine motor skills and visual motor skills.  I watched, impressed, as she had the little D performing tasks that I didn't even know she could do. Twist off the tops of the bottles, stack blocks in different positions, draw lines on paper the way the PT was doing (up/down, across, etc).  At one point, the therapist was looking for harder tasks to give her because she was acing everything.  "Um, you haven't let her play with scissors yet, have you?  Cuz that'd be next."  We had not.  At least in these two areas, she was at the 31-month level and counting.  Plus, I guess her vocabulary is pretty good for her age, too.  So TAKE THAT, hip dysplasia!

the diabolical mind at bedtime

Sometimes I wonder what goes on in my kid's head.  But these days, at bedtime, I'm pretty sure though that it's something like this:

7:00 pm -- Insist on going outside.  And taking my ride.  That'll do it!  By the time they get the dirt off me and get back inside, maybe they'll forget that it's almost bedtime already.

7:15 pm (assuming the outside tactic did not work; if it did, at least 7:30pm):  "No!!!  No books!"

7:35 pm -- Fine, if I have to read, then I want to read a million of them.  Wait, wait, not that one. "No!!  THIS one.  Umm, THIS."

7:45 pm -- Hmm, this book reading thing isn't so bad.  I wonder if I can get Dada to read more if I look cuter and ask nicely.  

7:50 pm -- Laugh while he changes your diaper and say "pee-yew."   That usually gets him laughing for a few minutes longer.  Take your time picking out pjs.  Ask for more milk. Make sure you have every single lovey blanket you own with you.     

8:00 pm -- Insist on mama. Insist on mama.  Because she's probably in the middle of something in the kitchen.

8:01 pm -- Look cute for mama.  She's the soft one.  Tell her, "mama!  Nose!"  She'll be proud of you for knowing where your nose is.  Sometimes, she'll pretend to be asleep.  Just keeping yelling "Mama!!"   Poke her eye if needed.  

8:02 pm -- Standing!

8:04 pm -- "Mi?  Dada!!!!   Dada!!!!  Mi!!!"  Because Dada loves running over to bring you more milk.  Tell him you want it cold but then ask for it to be warm AFTER he gets there with it.  

8:15 pm -- Hmm, all that cuteness and Mama still left you in the crib????  Oh well, time to practice walking.  And singing.  And jumping.  And playing with the 7 thousand lovey blankets they let you keep in your crib now.  When else do you have all this privacy?

8:30 pm --  Uh oh, Dada's back.  Tell him you've pooped.  He might sniff you for a minute but then leave you back to your jumping.  Or insist on Mama, that works too.  

8:45 pm -- Uh oh, Mama!!!  Gather your million lovey blankets, dive back down and pretend to be asleep. She'll totally buy it.  If not, tell her your hungry.  Yell, "Dada!!!!!  Dada!!!!  Rice???"  If you've been sick, that might work and he'll actually bring you some.  

9 pm -- Dammit, can't say awake anymore.  Feeling so sleepy .  . .