My mom is coming on the 10th! She's been agonizing over the decision for weeks now, trying to get me to leak some information about when the baby might be showing up. I know that it's easy to believe that I might have the inside track on this info, but somehow, the kid's not talking. So my mom's been torn. She wants to be here for the delivery but only has a total of 3 (maybe 4) weeks off from work. So she doesn't want to waste it sitting around waiting for me to pop. But she finally made the big move and bought the ticket, deciding to err on the side of caution, and is crossing her fingers that I won't be too late. So I guess we'll see.
What I'm most amazed by is that I kind of can't wait for her to get here. Don't you dare tell her I said so. Just a few weeks ago, the thought of her being here for such a long time kind of freaked me out. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but I haven't been under the same roof with my roof for this long since college. And even after a few days, we start to bicker. But lately, I've been feeling something almost like relief. And I think it has to do with my constant tiredness. Lately, it's seemed like each day gets harder and harder. I wake up early, come into work, try to work some extra hours to stock up on a little more leave, and come home. And home never seems like that much of a picnic either. There's dinner to be prepped, dogs to be walked, dishes in the sink that seem to pile up for days, and usually no more than a 2-3 hours to do it. Because if I can't get myself off to bed by 10 at the absolute latest, I'm a wreck the next day. The thought of my mom taking over some of the household tasks sounds amazing. By that point, of course, I'll already be on maternity leave, so maybe it won't be the same rut, but I'm thinking the baby will be a whole new source of exhuastion. So I'm ready for the all the help I can get.
I think G feels it too. With me working longer hours, he's had to do more of the dog walking and household chores. Our weekends have been spent at baby classes or running the random errands we never have time for during the week, and we're both just beat. So more and more, I hear "maybe your mom will want to do that" creeping into his conversations, usually when things like cleaning random cupboards in the kitchen are involved. :) My poor mother has no idea what's in store for her.
In other news, yesterday, I walked into the bathroom at work and one of my co-workers M was in there. She proceeded to tell me how she was happy she had thought to bring some extra undies into work because she'd had a bit of an accident. Awesome. I love knowing that those details about my co-workers, you know, who has urinary incontinence, who doesn't. . . . She's not old and she's not pregnant, so not sure what the deal is. But she did manage to tell me that this isn't the first time this has happened. This is actually the same lady who months ago, when I happened to tell her I was pregnant, went off on a random tangent about how she'd had a boyfriend once who tried to pressure her into getting pregnant. But there was something off about him, and she was never quite sure what his deal was. He was Lebanese or something, and she'd often wake up in the middle of the night to hear him talking to a bunch of people in her living room. I think she wondered if he was a terrorist. And apparently he had an anger problem. I gotta say, it was the most interesting reaction I had to my pregnancy news.
Also a few months ago at work, I got punked. We had a visit from our regional chief judge in the SF office at some point. I'd seen him once or twice before but had never really officially met him. But we were scheduled for a meeting between him, the attorneys, and the judges. Earlier in the day, he walked around the office and met with various other people. One of our newer office judges at some point informed me that I should try to talk to the chief judge during the day because he apparently had a bunch of baby items in his car that he's been trying to get rid of. They belonged to his grandkids or something. Judge Wiseguy thought I should hit him up and said that actually he had already told the chief about me, so he wouldn't be surprised if I approached him about it.
OK, let me stop here and say that ever since I got pregnant, I've had all kinds of people tell me they have stuff. So why would I think anything of this? I mean, sure, it's a little weird that a 60-year-old man would be driving around with onesies in his car, but wtf, why would I assume it's made up? For crying out loud, I have co-workers that inform me when they leak pee in their pants, surely this is nothing crazier than that? But anyway, I'm sure you can see where this is going. It was all made up, of course. And I was the idiot that approached our Chief Judge after the big group meeting and asked him about the baby stuff in his car. Judge Wiseguy happened to be standing by when I did it and I'm sure loved the expression of total confusion on the chief's face. Although I think he was kind of shocked that I fell for it and he jumped in trying to explain. And basically left the chief judge even more confused cuz I'm not sure he entirely understood what I was asking anyway, and then Judge Wiseguy jumped in before I could repeat myself. All in all, it was sort of a bizarre joke, and I didn't fully get why it was funny. But I got to walk around for weeks after listening to Judge Wiseguy tell the story and people looking at me in confusion going, "I don't understand -- why would you think the CHIEF JUDGE would have baby gear in his car that he drove down from SF just in the hopes of some random person being pregnant????" I guess they've got a point there, the more I heard it, the less likely it seemed. Anyway, if anyone's got a good joke I can play on our office prankster let me know because I'm still mulling it over.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
It's easy being green
Actually, it’s not THAT easy, I’m realizing. Kermit was right, I guess. But it is easy to want to be green, to fall in love with the thought of it. At least for me. But the execution always seems to be a lot harder.
Take, for example, my new obsession with cloth diapers. For a long time, I thought that people that used them were a bit crazy. I mean, not in a bad way, but you’d have to be pretty gung ho green to accept the challenge. I mean, come on, you got the smells to deal with. The annoying little pins. And then washing poop in your laundry machine?? EWWW. Plus, I grew up in India where that’s all there was when I was a baby. Seems like if I have modern conveniences available to me, why not use them?
And then a few weeks ago, G and I went to a basic baby care class and they passed around some different diapers. They weren’t pushing any particular type, but just had some out there for people who haven’t had have much exposure to diapers before. And a compostable diaper caught my attention. I had no idea they had such things, and when we got home, G and I started looking them up. The thing is, you go through a LOT of diapers, and it does make us feel bad. And G and I do actually try to be green when we can – we started composting recently because we started feeling bad about all our food waste. Last year, we were quite actively looking into installing solar panels and would have likely installed them if we had sure we’d actually live in our current house for much longer. We even have recycled dogs, in that they’re mostly all pound puppies. J I mean, it’s not like we’re one step away from moving to an ecological commune and pooping into a bucket or anything like that, but it’s nice to do what we can to reduce our impact on the world.
Anyway, when we got home G showed me a link to some compostable diapers on Amazon. But looking into it a bit, we noticed that that particular brand was only 70% compostable. I mean, come on, if we’re going to shell out the slightly extra dough for compostable diapers, I want them to be 100% biodegradable. So I started Googling. And guess what? It turns out that it doesn’t matter how compostable a diaper is. The problem is that unless you take them to a composting facility, they end up in a landfill anyway. And apparently, nothing degrades in a landfill. So what would be the point? Commercial composting facilities that can handle diapers are apparently few and far between in the US.
So we moved on . . . turns out there are a few diaper services around that deliver compostable diapers and take them away each week. That’s not a bad option. Unfortunately none of them deliver to our little hole in the wall.
Then I ran across these things called GDiapers. Compostable diapers that you can flush down the toilet. Or compost in your own home composter. Either way, they don’t end up in the landfill! Aside from the slight EW factor associated with diapers mixing into our compost bin along with our veggie remains, seems ingenious right? I started reading reviews and asking people about them. For one thing, I gotta say, they’re adorable. Not the compostable part. But basically, you buy outer waterproof covers that you have to wash and reuse. And then they sell the flushable inserts. And the covers are kinda cute. They seem to have a fairly loyal following, but there are also naysayers out there as well. People that complain about the diapers clogging up their toilets, about the inserts not being that cheap. It’s true. It costs as much to buy the inserts as it does to buy disposables. To me, it seems like a great alternative. But I guess to people that look to cloth diapers as an inexpensive alternative, GDiapers just don’t make the cut.
And of course, that’s how I got led into the cloth diaper research. Crazy how a simple Google search can totally alter your outlook on something. It turns out that there are a lot of cloth diaper psychos out there. People who live and breathe by the cloth diaper, who wash their own, and join forums to lead others into the light. People who, and I kid you not, even make their own diapers and detergent solutions. And one of the key things they repeat over and over again is that cloth diapers are not the old school disgusting things that we probably all picture. For one, they come pre-folded now. You don’t have to fold them up yourself and put a big pin on each side. You can get Velcro and snaps. You get the cloth diaper, and you also have to use an outer waterproof cover. And the outer covers are pretty cute. There’s also a bit of research out there that shows that kids who use cloth diapers get fewer diaper rashes (because you have to change them more often – disposables are very absorbent and people tend to try to go as long as possible between changes). Also, kids who use cloth potty train sooner because they’re more aware of themselves being wet.
When you start getting into it, it’s not all peaches ‘n cream, of course. You use a lot more water and detergent when you use and wash your own cloth. The most environmentally conscious way to do it is to use biodegradable detergents and line dry the diapers. Or use a service that washes so many at once that it’s worth the materials. Also, cotton is one of the worst crops in the world in terms of pesticide use. So using organic cotton is best, although most diaper services don’t provide them. Or G found some bamboo diapers which apparently are awesome because bamboo grows like crazy and thrives without fertilizer or pesticides and without draining the soil’s nutrients. And again, how cute are they? This is what I mean by it being easy to be green but not at the same time. There’s lots of info out there and of course nothing is without environmental impact. The key for us is to find something that we can live with. I’m not going to be a stay-at-home mom, I’m not sure I’m ready to tackle on washing a load of bamboo diapers every other day and hanging them out to dry. Sorry.
And man, once you start looking at one green thing, it’s easy to get wrapped up in that too. For example, there are all kinds of biodegradable wipes out there, or cloth wipes too for that matter. OR disposable and non-disposable bamboo wipes. Needless to say, I don’t know what to focus on more these days, my Huffington Post addiction or my search for green baby items. And kind of randomly, I discovered that actually, I’m not alone: apparently something like 69% of people report being more green when they get pregnant/have their first child. How bizarre is that? Do you think it’s hormonal?
Anyway, so we’re still unsure what we’ll do in the long run. But, after some difficulty, I did find a cloth service that’ll deliver to our little town. They don’t have the fancy compostable or organic options, just straight forward cotton. Figure for now, we’ll test it out and see how we do. Maybe also get a few cute little bamboo diapers and GDiapers and see how it feels to wash them ourselves every once in a while. And of course we have a lot of disposables given to us by friends, so we’ll throw those into the mix during the first month or two also and see what we like best. Cost-wise, it’s probably the same or cheaper to do the service as it is to buy disposables. With that, and the fact that they bring them to your door, it seems a shame to not give them a shot.
The funny thing is how quickly I’ve turned 180 on the issue. When we first started discussing it, G was the one who thought that even washing our diapers might not be as hard as it sounds. How much effort is it to throw one more load in the wash, we’ll be doing more loads already with all the baby stuff? And while I’m still resistant to that idea, the thought of it doesn’t gross me out as it used to. Within the span of a day or two, I went from “no way in hell” to “maybe, if it’s not too much hassle.”
So we’ll see where we end up.
Take, for example, my new obsession with cloth diapers. For a long time, I thought that people that used them were a bit crazy. I mean, not in a bad way, but you’d have to be pretty gung ho green to accept the challenge. I mean, come on, you got the smells to deal with. The annoying little pins. And then washing poop in your laundry machine?? EWWW. Plus, I grew up in India where that’s all there was when I was a baby. Seems like if I have modern conveniences available to me, why not use them?
And then a few weeks ago, G and I went to a basic baby care class and they passed around some different diapers. They weren’t pushing any particular type, but just had some out there for people who haven’t had have much exposure to diapers before. And a compostable diaper caught my attention. I had no idea they had such things, and when we got home, G and I started looking them up. The thing is, you go through a LOT of diapers, and it does make us feel bad. And G and I do actually try to be green when we can – we started composting recently because we started feeling bad about all our food waste. Last year, we were quite actively looking into installing solar panels and would have likely installed them if we had sure we’d actually live in our current house for much longer. We even have recycled dogs, in that they’re mostly all pound puppies. J I mean, it’s not like we’re one step away from moving to an ecological commune and pooping into a bucket or anything like that, but it’s nice to do what we can to reduce our impact on the world.
Anyway, when we got home G showed me a link to some compostable diapers on Amazon. But looking into it a bit, we noticed that that particular brand was only 70% compostable. I mean, come on, if we’re going to shell out the slightly extra dough for compostable diapers, I want them to be 100% biodegradable. So I started Googling. And guess what? It turns out that it doesn’t matter how compostable a diaper is. The problem is that unless you take them to a composting facility, they end up in a landfill anyway. And apparently, nothing degrades in a landfill. So what would be the point? Commercial composting facilities that can handle diapers are apparently few and far between in the US.
So we moved on . . . turns out there are a few diaper services around that deliver compostable diapers and take them away each week. That’s not a bad option. Unfortunately none of them deliver to our little hole in the wall.
Then I ran across these things called GDiapers. Compostable diapers that you can flush down the toilet. Or compost in your own home composter. Either way, they don’t end up in the landfill! Aside from the slight EW factor associated with diapers mixing into our compost bin along with our veggie remains, seems ingenious right? I started reading reviews and asking people about them. For one thing, I gotta say, they’re adorable. Not the compostable part. But basically, you buy outer waterproof covers that you have to wash and reuse. And then they sell the flushable inserts. And the covers are kinda cute. They seem to have a fairly loyal following, but there are also naysayers out there as well. People that complain about the diapers clogging up their toilets, about the inserts not being that cheap. It’s true. It costs as much to buy the inserts as it does to buy disposables. To me, it seems like a great alternative. But I guess to people that look to cloth diapers as an inexpensive alternative, GDiapers just don’t make the cut.
And of course, that’s how I got led into the cloth diaper research. Crazy how a simple Google search can totally alter your outlook on something. It turns out that there are a lot of cloth diaper psychos out there. People who live and breathe by the cloth diaper, who wash their own, and join forums to lead others into the light. People who, and I kid you not, even make their own diapers and detergent solutions. And one of the key things they repeat over and over again is that cloth diapers are not the old school disgusting things that we probably all picture. For one, they come pre-folded now. You don’t have to fold them up yourself and put a big pin on each side. You can get Velcro and snaps. You get the cloth diaper, and you also have to use an outer waterproof cover. And the outer covers are pretty cute. There’s also a bit of research out there that shows that kids who use cloth diapers get fewer diaper rashes (because you have to change them more often – disposables are very absorbent and people tend to try to go as long as possible between changes). Also, kids who use cloth potty train sooner because they’re more aware of themselves being wet.
When you start getting into it, it’s not all peaches ‘n cream, of course. You use a lot more water and detergent when you use and wash your own cloth. The most environmentally conscious way to do it is to use biodegradable detergents and line dry the diapers. Or use a service that washes so many at once that it’s worth the materials. Also, cotton is one of the worst crops in the world in terms of pesticide use. So using organic cotton is best, although most diaper services don’t provide them. Or G found some bamboo diapers which apparently are awesome because bamboo grows like crazy and thrives without fertilizer or pesticides and without draining the soil’s nutrients. And again, how cute are they? This is what I mean by it being easy to be green but not at the same time. There’s lots of info out there and of course nothing is without environmental impact. The key for us is to find something that we can live with. I’m not going to be a stay-at-home mom, I’m not sure I’m ready to tackle on washing a load of bamboo diapers every other day and hanging them out to dry. Sorry.
And man, once you start looking at one green thing, it’s easy to get wrapped up in that too. For example, there are all kinds of biodegradable wipes out there, or cloth wipes too for that matter. OR disposable and non-disposable bamboo wipes. Needless to say, I don’t know what to focus on more these days, my Huffington Post addiction or my search for green baby items. And kind of randomly, I discovered that actually, I’m not alone: apparently something like 69% of people report being more green when they get pregnant/have their first child. How bizarre is that? Do you think it’s hormonal?
Anyway, so we’re still unsure what we’ll do in the long run. But, after some difficulty, I did find a cloth service that’ll deliver to our little town. They don’t have the fancy compostable or organic options, just straight forward cotton. Figure for now, we’ll test it out and see how we do. Maybe also get a few cute little bamboo diapers and GDiapers and see how it feels to wash them ourselves every once in a while. And of course we have a lot of disposables given to us by friends, so we’ll throw those into the mix during the first month or two also and see what we like best. Cost-wise, it’s probably the same or cheaper to do the service as it is to buy disposables. With that, and the fact that they bring them to your door, it seems a shame to not give them a shot.
The funny thing is how quickly I’ve turned 180 on the issue. When we first started discussing it, G was the one who thought that even washing our diapers might not be as hard as it sounds. How much effort is it to throw one more load in the wash, we’ll be doing more loads already with all the baby stuff? And while I’m still resistant to that idea, the thought of it doesn’t gross me out as it used to. Within the span of a day or two, I went from “no way in hell” to “maybe, if it’s not too much hassle.”
So we’ll see where we end up.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
the itchy and scratchy show (please, turn it off already)
So for the most part, I have to say that I’ve been pretty relaxed about my various symptoms during my pregnancy. Actually, when most people ask me if I’ve had a lot of morning sickness or other issues, I always tell them how it hasn’t been that bad. And it really hasn’t, but I guess that’s not the full truth. And it’s not like I’m trying to hold back, I honestly forget soon after I experience them that I had them at all.
The morning sickness, for example. Sure, it wasn’t too bad. If you LIKE that sort of thing, I mean. I know women who have spent most of a trimester vomiting at work, being unable to go to work, etc. Not the case with me, but there were plenty of mornings where I woke up feeling pretty damn awful. Plenty of mornings when brushing my teeth would promptly have me yakking. Just it was so early in the morning that there wasn’t much to throw up. And when I think about it, this particular symptom lasted well into my 2nd trimester and even seemed to be making a comeback for a few weeks in my third trimester. Nothing like barfing JUST AFTER you've brushed your teeth. There were a few days in the morning also when I was tempted to stop the car and throw up (though I never actually did), or a few evening events that I went to where I hadn’t eaten and felt pretty miserable until I had the chance to nibble on something.
And of course, there was the constant tiredness, the coming home and wanting to do nothing more than lay on the couch and sleep. For a good month or more, the house was a wreck, the dishes unwashed, piles of clutter everywhere, laundry unfinished. G tried to do what he could, but it’s not like he was swimming in time either. Sometimes, it was all he could manage to come home, walk the dogs, and start dinner (because it certainly didn’t make itself and I was always STARVING).
And oh yeah, there was the bitchiness, too. I remember one time fighting with him because . . . I’m not entirely sure, but the sequence of events went something like this. It was the weekend. We slept in but that meant I woke up super hungry and it being way past my breakfast time. G tried to ask me what I wanted and nothing sounded appetizing. I might have gotten a little whiny about our lack of options. (He might have suggested waffles and/or pancakes and I might have also gotten whiny about not liking sweet things at breakfast). Not knowing what to do exactly, G busied himself with a few other things around the kitchen probably hoping that eventually I'd make up my mind and tell him what I wanted. Instead, I got peeved and warmed up some random leftovers, like spaghetti, because all I felt like in the early days were carbs. Anyway, G eventually started making something too. And it was WAY better than anything he had suggested earlier. So I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I think I got all mad at him for holding out on me, and for making breakfast without me. Or something. Whatever it was, it was ridiculous and I knew it even as I was arguing about it. But dude, those scones smelled delicious -- at the time, it seemed like borderline cruelty to hold out on his best ideas when a hungry pregnant lady was involved.
Anyway, my point is that there were plenty of symptoms, but I just let them slide by because well, I don't know. It's not that I don't like to complain, clearly you all know better. But they honestly seemed minor compared to the miracle and coolness of being pregnant. And I don't know, the symptoms always seemed less dramatic than other pregnant stories I've heard. I even handled the weird stuff with few complaints. The strange dreams. The totally bizarre few weeks earlier this trimester when I was horny as hell but it HURT to actually have sex (that, by the way, is proof a twisted god if there ever was one). And of course I mentioned the gross stuff already, too.
But THIS. . . this is the last straw. Never mind that in the last few weeks, I've just felt more and more awkward. It hurts to lay down, it hurts to get up. Sleeping is more difficult. My ankles and fingers have been super swollen and always hurt. I'm stiff when I get up. I waddle. Whatever, I'm hanging in there just fine until finally, last week the damn itching started last week. OMG -- my stomach looks like it's been a battlefield for a major ant war or something. And I can't stop! I can't sleep, I can't work. I've been lathering cream, taking Benadryl and just feeling perpetually groggy . . . nothing. First it was the stomach. Then it was my wrist and fingers, then my ankles. I finally saw my doctor yesterday because nothing was working (and poor G would try every night as I laid there tossing and complaining -- unfortunately for him, distracting me with sex only worked once). She started to say that although there are some rare serious pregnancy-related conditions that cause itching, mine seemed to be harmless. And I think she would have left it at that except that I kept begging for something, ANYTHING, to help, and she finally gave me some steroid cream to try. I don't know. We'll see if it works. I tried it last night and it was a lot better, but it was all sticky and pretty much stayed that way all night. So THEN I couldn't sleep because I couldn't settle into a position where the cream wasn't sticking all over the sheets.
So pretty much now, I've about had it. Even last week, I was worried about the little watermelon coming too early. I'm not even going on maternity leave until the week before, and I want my days off dangit. But now, I don't care. If it means the itching will stop, I want the kid out NOW. Seriously, I feel like a drug addict that'll accept just about anything to take the edge off.
Friday, June 18, 2010
progress?
I woke up this morning to hear Mia growling at – get this – not Bandit, but Tucker! And Tucker actually started cowering a bit, avoided her gaze, and came up to snuggle up against me on the bed. Awesome, clearly their training thing is going extremely well, since we’ve apparently succeeded in making our formerly aggressive dog into an insecure and submissive coward and our cocky youngster even more confident. Perfect, I’m so happy knowing that our $600 worth of training (which paid for about 3 sessions by the way) went to such good use. The one thing we had never had to worry about was Mia going after Tucker because she’s been scared of him since she was a little pup, and with good reason. A few training classes sure do go a long way.
To be fair, though, we actually have seen some real improvement since we started Tucker and Mia in training classes. A while back, after all the dog drama, I started researching local dog trainers and found one around Santa Cruz that came pretty highly recommended. So G and I took the guys in for a little evaluation, and I have to say that I was a bit impressed. First of all, the guy didn’t say anything about our dogs that I didn’t already know. Mia was picking on Bandit because she knew she could get away with it. Bandit just deserved to live the rest of her days in peace. And Tucker was going to be much harder to train because he was old and downright stubborn (and pretty nervous). But he said all this after just being around them for a half hour total, while we obviously have had some time to figure all this out. Second, he brought out one of his dogs to demonstrate what a well-trained dog is supposed to be like, and I gotta admit, it wasn’t half bad. The dog was hanging out in his assistant’s van. They called it over, she came out, and went straight to the owner’s side. They told the dog to bark and she did. They sent her back to the van and she went right back. They called her out, had her stop mid-way, and she did. Pretty much, what they said, this dog did, no ifs ands or buts about it. This trainer used to work with police dogs, so he’s pretty into the hard core, “my dog will obey me or else” type training method, rather than the Pet Smart “give them as many treats as it takes” method. When I’m not going psycho on my dogs, I’m actually mostly a softie, so it was a bit hard for me to get behind. But watching their dog do its thing made me realize that that’s the kind of control we need in our household.
So we signed up for some private lessons. We got the dogs prong collars that pretty much stay on them now anytime we’re home. They misbehave, we yank and correct. The prong collars pinches around their necks when we pull on them, and I guess it’s supposed to mimic the way a mother dog corrects her babies. I don’t know, I’m just glad it’s not a shock or choke collar. Right off the bat, the trainer told us that he didn’t think Mia was particularly aggressive and would actually be easy to train. The problem was us – she was so used to doing whatever she wanted without any discipline whatsoever that she ran with it. She picked on Bandit because she knew she could get away with it. Tucker he was less certain about, thought he’d be harder to train because he was stubborn and nervous.
So far, he’s proven to be right. Mia’s taken to this training thing like a champ. We haven’t quite figured out how to apply to ALL aspects of our life (that is, she’s great in class, but you call her to you when she’s chilling in the back yard and she just gives you a stare like, oh puh-lease, I’m busy eating grass right now and it doesn’t look like you have a treat in your hand anyway). Rather than doing anything aggression specific, we’ve been working on basic obedience. Our walks have already gotten better because we’ve finally taught them to heal. They sit at cross walks (because we yank on them when they don’t), they stay and watch me put their food out rather than rushing me and each other before I even have a chance to put their bowls down. They have a long way to go, but there’s definitely been improvement.
And actually, if nothing else, the class has taught me that I have a long way to go to. Already, it's clear that the dogs listen to G much more than they do me because he's not scared to yank and he's consistent. As I said, I'm a bit of a softie.
Last week was our last class, and the instructor was amazed when Tucker actually stayed and then came running when we called him. During our first class, G tried to call Tucker to him, and it was a bit of a disaster. Tucker did everything but – roamed through the grass, checked out the fence in the other direction, took a few leaks and even a dump. G might as well not have existed as far as he was concerned. It was a private lesson but it was during a group session and pretty much the whole class got to check him out in action.
Tucker still has issues. I don’t know if he’s just dumb or too nervous, but even after weeks of being forced to sit across the street from our house until we call him inside, 5 out of 10 times, he still gets excited and comes running over before we call him, often in the way of oncoming cars. And when we yank on him, he cries like we’re mauling him, even if it’s pretty light. So by this point, I’m pretty sure our neighbors think we’re abusing him. And I don’t know if this extra sensitivity is what was going on this morning when Mia started growling at him for no reason or what, but I don’t know how to make it better. And obviously, all the obedience training still isn’t enough to shut Mia up, so we gotta figure out how to deal with that too. When she starts growling, we’re supposed to yank on her chain and say “fuey” (the guy’s all about German commands too, because I guess he was used to training police dogs to listen only to their cop and no one else). If she doesn’t stop right away, we’re supposed to walk her around in a circle, yanking and correcting the whole way, then bring her back to lay her down. So far, all that’s shown is that Mia has an extremely high pain tolerance and could be practically choking but can still manage to get a good growl out. But I feel like we’re at least off to a start.
To be fair, though, we actually have seen some real improvement since we started Tucker and Mia in training classes. A while back, after all the dog drama, I started researching local dog trainers and found one around Santa Cruz that came pretty highly recommended. So G and I took the guys in for a little evaluation, and I have to say that I was a bit impressed. First of all, the guy didn’t say anything about our dogs that I didn’t already know. Mia was picking on Bandit because she knew she could get away with it. Bandit just deserved to live the rest of her days in peace. And Tucker was going to be much harder to train because he was old and downright stubborn (and pretty nervous). But he said all this after just being around them for a half hour total, while we obviously have had some time to figure all this out. Second, he brought out one of his dogs to demonstrate what a well-trained dog is supposed to be like, and I gotta admit, it wasn’t half bad. The dog was hanging out in his assistant’s van. They called it over, she came out, and went straight to the owner’s side. They told the dog to bark and she did. They sent her back to the van and she went right back. They called her out, had her stop mid-way, and she did. Pretty much, what they said, this dog did, no ifs ands or buts about it. This trainer used to work with police dogs, so he’s pretty into the hard core, “my dog will obey me or else” type training method, rather than the Pet Smart “give them as many treats as it takes” method. When I’m not going psycho on my dogs, I’m actually mostly a softie, so it was a bit hard for me to get behind. But watching their dog do its thing made me realize that that’s the kind of control we need in our household.
So we signed up for some private lessons. We got the dogs prong collars that pretty much stay on them now anytime we’re home. They misbehave, we yank and correct. The prong collars pinches around their necks when we pull on them, and I guess it’s supposed to mimic the way a mother dog corrects her babies. I don’t know, I’m just glad it’s not a shock or choke collar. Right off the bat, the trainer told us that he didn’t think Mia was particularly aggressive and would actually be easy to train. The problem was us – she was so used to doing whatever she wanted without any discipline whatsoever that she ran with it. She picked on Bandit because she knew she could get away with it. Tucker he was less certain about, thought he’d be harder to train because he was stubborn and nervous.
So far, he’s proven to be right. Mia’s taken to this training thing like a champ. We haven’t quite figured out how to apply to ALL aspects of our life (that is, she’s great in class, but you call her to you when she’s chilling in the back yard and she just gives you a stare like, oh puh-lease, I’m busy eating grass right now and it doesn’t look like you have a treat in your hand anyway). Rather than doing anything aggression specific, we’ve been working on basic obedience. Our walks have already gotten better because we’ve finally taught them to heal. They sit at cross walks (because we yank on them when they don’t), they stay and watch me put their food out rather than rushing me and each other before I even have a chance to put their bowls down. They have a long way to go, but there’s definitely been improvement.
And actually, if nothing else, the class has taught me that I have a long way to go to. Already, it's clear that the dogs listen to G much more than they do me because he's not scared to yank and he's consistent. As I said, I'm a bit of a softie.
Last week was our last class, and the instructor was amazed when Tucker actually stayed and then came running when we called him. During our first class, G tried to call Tucker to him, and it was a bit of a disaster. Tucker did everything but – roamed through the grass, checked out the fence in the other direction, took a few leaks and even a dump. G might as well not have existed as far as he was concerned. It was a private lesson but it was during a group session and pretty much the whole class got to check him out in action.
Tucker still has issues. I don’t know if he’s just dumb or too nervous, but even after weeks of being forced to sit across the street from our house until we call him inside, 5 out of 10 times, he still gets excited and comes running over before we call him, often in the way of oncoming cars. And when we yank on him, he cries like we’re mauling him, even if it’s pretty light. So by this point, I’m pretty sure our neighbors think we’re abusing him. And I don’t know if this extra sensitivity is what was going on this morning when Mia started growling at him for no reason or what, but I don’t know how to make it better. And obviously, all the obedience training still isn’t enough to shut Mia up, so we gotta figure out how to deal with that too. When she starts growling, we’re supposed to yank on her chain and say “fuey” (the guy’s all about German commands too, because I guess he was used to training police dogs to listen only to their cop and no one else). If she doesn’t stop right away, we’re supposed to walk her around in a circle, yanking and correcting the whole way, then bring her back to lay her down. So far, all that’s shown is that Mia has an extremely high pain tolerance and could be practically choking but can still manage to get a good growl out. But I feel like we’re at least off to a start.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
a few quick updates
So that girl at Starbucks that judged me for drinking caffeine? Last week, she hooked me up with a free hazelnut latte, so we're all good now. Clearly, the way to my heart is through gifts. G wanted to know why this has never worked for him. If he tries to buy me things after a fight, I usually just gripe about how he always "wants to throw money at the problem." But I'm pretty sure it's because he hasn't tried buying the right things. I suggested massages next time.
Speaking of which, I enjoyed a very nice prenatal one last week, compliments of YL (thanks chica!). It was for my birthday a while back, and I finally got a chance to use it. And wondered why I haven't used my pregnancy as an excuse to get weekly massages. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've tried to take advantage at home plenty of times, but G's are pitiful at best because he loses interest within a minute or two. His idea of rubbing my shoulders was to get me a hand massager for Christmas (see - he likes to throw money at the problem but in all the wrong ways!). This was so much nicer. Plus, the masseuse refused to accept my tip. This was all on the same day I got my free coffee, making me realize that there's something be said for this whole pregnancy thing.
The little melon, by the way, is getting bigger and bigger. I can literally see my stomach move around in waves now when s/he rolls around in there. And it's a little freaky - I feel like I have this alien trying to kick its way out of my belly.
A few people have asked why I always refer to the little bugger as some sort of fruit. It's just that Peanut seems kind of boring (and anyway, it would be the largest peanut in history at this point). Every week I get a weekly update from a baby website chronicling how the baby's growing that week. The site always compares the size to something else (usually veggies or fruit), and I've just taken to doing the same. This week, it apparently weights as much as a crenshaw melon, but I have no idea what that is exactly (other than that it apparently weighs 6 pounds).
All the web updates tell me that the kid is pretty much considered full term now and could potentially come out at any moment. Which scares me shitless because we're so not ready. So I guess you could add that to one more thing not to say to a pregnant woman (I've already heard it from several people around the office: "ooh, you're so close!!!").
And finally, after months/years of thinking anyone who chose not to use disposable diapers was admirable but insane, we've started entertaining the thought of maybe using cloth diapers. So if you know anything about them, please let me know.
Speaking of which, I enjoyed a very nice prenatal one last week, compliments of YL (thanks chica!). It was for my birthday a while back, and I finally got a chance to use it. And wondered why I haven't used my pregnancy as an excuse to get weekly massages. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've tried to take advantage at home plenty of times, but G's are pitiful at best because he loses interest within a minute or two. His idea of rubbing my shoulders was to get me a hand massager for Christmas (see - he likes to throw money at the problem but in all the wrong ways!). This was so much nicer. Plus, the masseuse refused to accept my tip. This was all on the same day I got my free coffee, making me realize that there's something be said for this whole pregnancy thing.
The little melon, by the way, is getting bigger and bigger. I can literally see my stomach move around in waves now when s/he rolls around in there. And it's a little freaky - I feel like I have this alien trying to kick its way out of my belly.
A few people have asked why I always refer to the little bugger as some sort of fruit. It's just that Peanut seems kind of boring (and anyway, it would be the largest peanut in history at this point). Every week I get a weekly update from a baby website chronicling how the baby's growing that week. The site always compares the size to something else (usually veggies or fruit), and I've just taken to doing the same. This week, it apparently weights as much as a crenshaw melon, but I have no idea what that is exactly (other than that it apparently weighs 6 pounds).
All the web updates tell me that the kid is pretty much considered full term now and could potentially come out at any moment. Which scares me shitless because we're so not ready. So I guess you could add that to one more thing not to say to a pregnant woman (I've already heard it from several people around the office: "ooh, you're so close!!!").
And finally, after months/years of thinking anyone who chose not to use disposable diapers was admirable but insane, we've started entertaining the thought of maybe using cloth diapers. So if you know anything about them, please let me know.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Step 1
All right, I admit it, I have a bit of an addiction, and I hear that admitting to the problem is the first step in recovery, so here goes. Since starting my current job, I’ve become something of a news junkie. Well, among other things. It’s easy to become an internet/google/blog/entertainment junkie when you’re always looking for reasons not to work.
As I mentioned in my last post, my particular addiction over the last year or so has been the Huffington Post. You know, because it’s a liberal and extremely thorough news source - i.e. I’m just as likely to be able to satisfy my craving to see pictures of Tiger’s latest skanks as I am to read about the primary elections. Celebrity gossip, White House pictures of the Obamas walking their dog before their annual picnic (ok, I also admit to this fascination with the Obamas’ daily lives, to the point where even their nightly dinner menu is a source of HUGE interest), and in-depth news coverage, the Huff has it all.
I won’t lie, I tend to go to the fluffy stuff first. And my biggest gripe about the site is that they often link to videos that I can’t view at work because our firewalls block pretty much anything fun. On Friday, for example, I was so bummed that I couldn’t view Lady Gaga’s new video. Katy Perry apparently slammed it for being blasphemous, but why should I have to take Katy Perry’s word for it? A few weeks ago, I was sad to not be able to see another video where a guy reunited 5 years later with a gorilla that he raised from a gorilla-baby. I was so determined to see that one that I even went home later and looked it up on my own time (you know, because I usually like to do as much surfing on the government’s time as possible).
Once the fluffy stuff gets repetitive, though, I move onto the weightier stuff, and I have to say, it’s just as addictive. I didn’t really realize how hooked I’ve gotten until recently. It used to be that my co-worker C and I would chat about various Huff posts as we came across them. Now, of course, she’s on maternity leave, and lately, I’ve found myself sending G link after link, complete with my angry commentary. Because OMG, I’m so ready to line up the BP execs at this point and get a firing squad going (what, they’re doing it in Utah!?!). One more picture of an oil-soaked pelican (cuz it’s like an accident, I can’t look away)and I might be waddling over there myself to try to kick some ass. And those stupid parents that let their 16yo go off on an around the world sailing trip by herself? Really? Between the Australian rescue mission and the French ship that went out to bring her home, I’m wondering how much she cost all the countries involved. But more than that, now that she seems to be safely home, I can say that those parents were CRAAA-ZY letting her do it in the first place. And I don’t know what to make of that Israel flotilla debacle, but I can’t seem to get enough of it.
And the funny thing about addictions is that they really do start to impinge on other aspects of your life. This one certainly has. Because suddenly, I find myself listening to NPR more than my fluffy morning talk shows (unless of course, they’re dishing on celebrities in which case it becomes a total dilemma, and I'm stuck biting my nails wondering what I'm missing on the other station). Or occasionally opening the Economist that G started subscribing to ages ago and I’m pretty sure has NEVER read. Or most often, tuning into the Daily Show and Colbert Report, because come on, isn’t that where everyone goes for their news source? The whole thing has become something of a problem.
Anyway, I’m working through it. But in the meantime, I figure it’s only a matter of time before G stops responding to my ranting emails, in which case I might need another outlet. Just to prep everyone. :)
As I mentioned in my last post, my particular addiction over the last year or so has been the Huffington Post. You know, because it’s a liberal and extremely thorough news source - i.e. I’m just as likely to be able to satisfy my craving to see pictures of Tiger’s latest skanks as I am to read about the primary elections. Celebrity gossip, White House pictures of the Obamas walking their dog before their annual picnic (ok, I also admit to this fascination with the Obamas’ daily lives, to the point where even their nightly dinner menu is a source of HUGE interest), and in-depth news coverage, the Huff has it all.
I won’t lie, I tend to go to the fluffy stuff first. And my biggest gripe about the site is that they often link to videos that I can’t view at work because our firewalls block pretty much anything fun. On Friday, for example, I was so bummed that I couldn’t view Lady Gaga’s new video. Katy Perry apparently slammed it for being blasphemous, but why should I have to take Katy Perry’s word for it? A few weeks ago, I was sad to not be able to see another video where a guy reunited 5 years later with a gorilla that he raised from a gorilla-baby. I was so determined to see that one that I even went home later and looked it up on my own time (you know, because I usually like to do as much surfing on the government’s time as possible).
Once the fluffy stuff gets repetitive, though, I move onto the weightier stuff, and I have to say, it’s just as addictive. I didn’t really realize how hooked I’ve gotten until recently. It used to be that my co-worker C and I would chat about various Huff posts as we came across them. Now, of course, she’s on maternity leave, and lately, I’ve found myself sending G link after link, complete with my angry commentary. Because OMG, I’m so ready to line up the BP execs at this point and get a firing squad going (what, they’re doing it in Utah!?!). One more picture of an oil-soaked pelican (cuz it’s like an accident, I can’t look away)and I might be waddling over there myself to try to kick some ass. And those stupid parents that let their 16yo go off on an around the world sailing trip by herself? Really? Between the Australian rescue mission and the French ship that went out to bring her home, I’m wondering how much she cost all the countries involved. But more than that, now that she seems to be safely home, I can say that those parents were CRAAA-ZY letting her do it in the first place. And I don’t know what to make of that Israel flotilla debacle, but I can’t seem to get enough of it.
And the funny thing about addictions is that they really do start to impinge on other aspects of your life. This one certainly has. Because suddenly, I find myself listening to NPR more than my fluffy morning talk shows (unless of course, they’re dishing on celebrities in which case it becomes a total dilemma, and I'm stuck biting my nails wondering what I'm missing on the other station). Or occasionally opening the Economist that G started subscribing to ages ago and I’m pretty sure has NEVER read. Or most often, tuning into the Daily Show and Colbert Report, because come on, isn’t that where everyone goes for their news source? The whole thing has become something of a problem.
Anyway, I’m working through it. But in the meantime, I figure it’s only a matter of time before G stops responding to my ranting emails, in which case I might need another outlet. Just to prep everyone. :)
Thursday, June 10, 2010
too cute
When we were kids, my brother C and I would always make lists together during the summer. It sounds pretty dorky, and it was. But we'd be bored, and for some reason I thought that doing a daily to-do list would help fill the time. And like the good sport he used to be in those days, my brother went for it. Our lists would usually look something like this:
8:00 am - wake up
8:00-8:15 - brush teeth
8:15-9- breakfast/watch tv
9-10 - math (because my dad thought it was absolutely necessary that we work on these math workbooks during the summer so that we could be ahead once school started - fun times)
10-10:30 - take shower
10:30-12 - free time
12-1 - lunch
1-3 - free time
3-5 - watch TV
Anyway, you get the idea. We weren't terribly imaginative, and I'd say our day mostly consisted of free time, watching tv, and food. Sometimes, we'd throw in a little drawing time or reading time or something like that, or even scheduled "play games" time. Mostly at night when we had nothing else going on, cuz you know, our days being so full already and all.
Not that surprisingly, I haven't thought about those lists in years. But this morning, I was suddenly taken back to those summers when I saw this on the Huffington Post (my recent addiction, by the way). Made me think that I might need to start re-thinking my current to-do lists. :)
Monday, June 7, 2010
Things NOT to do or say to a pregnant woman:
So since becoming pregnant, I’ve realized that people say all sorts of things to a pregnant girl that they would never think of saying to other women. It’s like everyone forgets their manners around a pregnant lady, or somehow thinks that different rules apply. Here are some that have come my way over the last 8 months, mostly from co-workers, and in no particular order.
(After finding out how far along I was): Wow, you sure are having a HEALTHY baby, aren’t you? Well, actually, I’m hoping for an unhealthy one.
Whoa, you really look like you’re about to pop. What am I, a zit?
You’re not due until JULY??? How much bigger are you going to get???? (from a judge in my office who’s actually pretty funny and can get away with saying stuff like this better than most people can).
Well, at least your weight is all in your belly. Yeah, I thank my lucky stars for that almost daily.
Are you sure you’re not carrying twins? Oh, I don’t know, maybe I am and they’ve just missed it so far. . .
You still haven’t had that baby yet? I’m guessing this also is in reference to my size. . .
From another judge at work whose office is near mine, every time he sees me with any food whatsoever, regardless of whether it’s lunch time or not, and if it’s healthy or not): That time of day again, huh? I guess this isn’t the exact quote but it’s usually some version of this accompanied by a knowing chuckle and some reference to pregnancy cravings. Or even better, it's a reference to how huge my meal looks.
Unwelcome touching from strangers. Fortunately, this hasn’t happened to me very much, but I’ve heard lots of friends complain about it. My co-worker had our male head judge rub her belly without asking, and the thought of that happening to me fills me with dread. For any friends out there worried about it now, don’t. You can all touch my belly whenever you. Y’all fit into a much different category from colleagues and random people on the street. :)
Labor horror stories. These seem to come most often from men describing their wives’ labor. Really, you think I really want to hear how much she tore or how long it took and how disgusting the whole process was?
What are you doing after this baby? Are you having more or getting your tubes tied? Um, maybe you could let me pop out this one first . ..
(At Starbucks): You want me to make that decaf right? No, if I’d wanted decaf, I’d have said so. So stop judging what I eat/drink and just get me my damn coffee.
My husband is always a great source of fun stuff himself. And depending on what kind of mood I am, he either gets a laugh or a meltdown. For example, when I started struggling with shoe laces because I couldn’t bend anymore (and all of a sudden, they were always coming untied), rather than offering to help, he suggested that I “get some slip on shoes or Velcro.” When I kept getting frustrated because I seemed to be always dropping things, his helpful remark was “Hey, here’s a thought, how about you just stop dropping things?” Those were definitely meltdown moments.
And of course, there are the nice comments too, that I wish everyone else would learn from. One co-worker tells me often how “healthy and wonderful I look.” Without the “you’re huge” innuendo, healthy actually sounds pretty nice. Another judge constantly reassures me that I’m not big. HIS wife apparently gained over 100 pounds and had feet like watermelons, could barely walk, etc. I’m tiny in comparison. OK, maybe that’s a bit questionable, and I’m guessing that his wife wouldn’t be thrilled. But for some reason, I do kind of find it reassuring. And finally, a young female judge in our office thanked me for procreating because she certainly hadn't and it was nice of me to take one for the team. Which doesn't really fit with the subject of this post but was just downright entertaining.
photo moment
G worked from home last Thurs, and apparently, Tucker spent the morning after I took off laying on my shoes by the front door. I'm not sure whether to be touched at the thought of him missing me or annoyed by the creases and drool on my shoes. But since Tucker isn't usually our most photogenic dog, I had to at least share the picture.
Friday, June 4, 2010
the last month
I haven't been blogging. I know, I'm terrible, because actually there's been all sorts of stuff going on. But once I've stopped for a while, it seems easy to not get back to it. Part of the problem is that there's just too much to go back to, and I don't even know where to start. In the last month, we went to Ireland and Oregon. I have pictures from both that I need to put up soon. In Oregon, my mom threw me a baby shower, and I'm sure I'll have a few more pictures from my local baby shower this weekend.
What else? We had a garage sale, though that's not really post-worthy, I suppose (other than to say, OMG, I had some one hand me 20 cents for something we marked as a 25 cent item and ask me if that was "ok." Really? You can't be that cheap. I mean, sure, it was junk that I would have probably paid you to take away, but really??). The dogs have been in some intense training and have definitely made progress. I saved a opossum family, though I'm not sure that'll be that post-worthy either. We'll have to see.
I've discovered that my husband can be incredibly annoying when it comes to talking about potential names for the little cantaloupe. Who, by the way, has been growing and kicking a lot (the cantaloupe, not the husband). People seem so happy to tell me how much bigger I've been getting too, which has been a real treat. And these last few weeks have been particularly exhausting. Now that I'm making excuses, but that hasn't really helped with the blogging frequency either. Between the cleaning frenzy (our house looks freakishly clean at the moment) and the yard sale, the traveling and the dog training, I'm pooped. Clearly we should have done these things earlier in the pregnancy, because I can't keep up. My ankles, feet, and fingers are swollen and hurt like hell. I can't wear my wedding ring so I look like a pregnant, unwed mother. I haven't been able to sleep as much as I like because we've been so damn busy, making me more cranky and emotional. All in all, the last few weeks especially have been draining, and I'm looking forward to some quieter weeks ahead.
Anyway, that's what you have to look forward to over the next few weeks. I'm determined to get back to blogging every other day or two, so stay tuned!
What else? We had a garage sale, though that's not really post-worthy, I suppose (other than to say, OMG, I had some one hand me 20 cents for something we marked as a 25 cent item and ask me if that was "ok." Really? You can't be that cheap. I mean, sure, it was junk that I would have probably paid you to take away, but really??). The dogs have been in some intense training and have definitely made progress. I saved a opossum family, though I'm not sure that'll be that post-worthy either. We'll have to see.
I've discovered that my husband can be incredibly annoying when it comes to talking about potential names for the little cantaloupe. Who, by the way, has been growing and kicking a lot (the cantaloupe, not the husband). People seem so happy to tell me how much bigger I've been getting too, which has been a real treat. And these last few weeks have been particularly exhausting. Now that I'm making excuses, but that hasn't really helped with the blogging frequency either. Between the cleaning frenzy (our house looks freakishly clean at the moment) and the yard sale, the traveling and the dog training, I'm pooped. Clearly we should have done these things earlier in the pregnancy, because I can't keep up. My ankles, feet, and fingers are swollen and hurt like hell. I can't wear my wedding ring so I look like a pregnant, unwed mother. I haven't been able to sleep as much as I like because we've been so damn busy, making me more cranky and emotional. All in all, the last few weeks especially have been draining, and I'm looking forward to some quieter weeks ahead.
Anyway, that's what you have to look forward to over the next few weeks. I'm determined to get back to blogging every other day or two, so stay tuned!
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