So as of last Tues, I've been at home on maternity leave. Last week, the whole idea of maternity leave seemed great. I couldn't find enough hours in a day to do everything I needed to do. A spa day (with massage, facial, pedicure, and haircut) on Wed, a bunch of errands on Thurs, a string of coffee and lunch dates on Fri . . . I was bummed on the days that I couldn't squeeze a nap in or watch all the tv I wanted to. It was a tough life, and I felt like I could just do it forever.
Everything changed though on Sat after my mom came. I mean, it's been nice having her here (AWESOME home cooked meals, need I say more?), but she had been in the car maybe 20 minutes before she started nagging. And it hasn't stopped. It's usually mixed in with normal conversations, so it's not like we've spent the whole visits arguing. Far from it. But my mom has this knack for never letting things go. And just when you start to feel like things are all right and we're getting along, she'll manage to throw that nit picky thing in. It's pitch perfect timing, I almost wonder if she practices in her spare time.
So far, she's found plenty to nag about. She can't believe we let all 3 dogs in the house. Isn't it time to throw them in the backyard now that we're about to have a baby? How do we even know that they'll get along with the baby? G said at one point that of course if it becomes a problem, we'll have to consider it, but until then they're indoor dogs. This was on top of me becoming almost apoplectic approximately the 10th time she brought it up. But I'm pretty sure it's not a topic that's been laid to rest yet.
The whole name thing has also been high on her list of annoying topics. She thinks we should use my maiden name as the middle name if it's a boy. For those of you that know it, you realize why that's a terrible idea. She keeps telling me how it's tradition to name at least the first kid after their grandparents, and the fact that I'm not doing it makes me a terrible Indian and so disrespectful of my culture. I'm thinking that the next time she brings it up, I'm going to tell her that she's absolutely right. We should name our kid after his or her grandparents, and out of respect for our family heritage, we've decided to go with G's parents' names as middle names. See how that sits.
What else? The house is old. Our couch is old (never mind that when we moved as kids, my parents kept this ratty old couch for years after until they finally decided it was time to get something else). There is no fan in the bathroom. The dogs shed too much (though in her defense on this one, the dogs are definitely shedding a lot at the moment). And they smell. The pillow is too soft. There is no disposal in the kitchen sink. She wants me to come up for two weeks (dude, she's only been here for a day and a half, she's already thinking ahead). I made the mistake of saying 2 weeks was a long time so that was pretty unlikely, so she's been on me about that ever since (G was much more tactful, said that we could see, but the damage was already done by that point - I'll never learn).
Anyway, so it's been a fun time. So now, I'm on a mission to get this baby out as fast as possible, to at least have something to distract me from the rest of the visit. According to the internet, there's lots of natural ways to induce labor, and I've been trying them all. Of course, exercise is supposed to be the most effective. So I've been taking the dogs on at least 2 walks a day. I also read in an online forum that some women have managed to induce labor by rolling around on an exercise ball. So guess what I've been doing while watching tv? Spicy food is classic of course -- I was tempted to drink a bottle of hot sauce except that that brings on one of my major labor fears: pooping during the delivery. Same with castor oil, which is supposed to just give you diarrhea (but sometimes also gets contractions going too with all the activity down there). Sex is an old standby too, but man, it's pretty uncomfortable at this point. If you know of any other tricks, please let me know. I'm willing to try most things.
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