evolution of an idea

So up until about the 37th week of my pregnancy (i.e. 3 weeks before my due date), I thought my birth plan was completely set in stone. And basically, it involved me asking for the epidural in the parking lot, or maybe even a couple of days before. Ideally, I would have preferred to be completely knocked out and maybe drunk the whole time, but I figured that probably wasn't an option. So I was ready the moment we got to the hospital to say the magic words: "Gimme drugs NOW." I don't deal with pain well. I start wincing and whining before it starts.

And I hate to say this, but my opinion of people who decided to give birth "naturally" was that they were utterly insane. You know, like the tree-hugger, don't want to shave my underarms, kind of insane. Or my mother. But she's from a one-road village in a developing country, of course she'd be for all natural childbirth. Women have been giving birth for thousands of years, she said. What did I need drugs for? Sure they have. And yeah, some women dropped their babies in the fields and kept right on working, but a lot of them also dropped dead. This is why we have modern conveniences now, like doctors and hospitals, and medicine. And I plan on using every single one of them.

Except . . . well, I made the mistake of going to a child birth class. You know, to be better informed about these things. And apparently, all these classes are taught by midwives and doulas (i.e. who needs drugs school?). And a lot of what they said made sense. You know, the part about women recovering from natural labor more quickly, and our bodies only producing a baby that we could deliver naturally, and the occasional side effects of various drugs. I can't remember exactly what all they said to convince me, but suddenly, I was drinking the Kool-Aid. Mostly, it just seemed empowering, like of course I could do this. Why not, after all, women have been doing this for thousands of years. . . .

So for about a month, I walked around thinking that I'd go for it, that'd I have an all natural child birth. And I did it without really telling anyone. Cuz I didn't want to sound like a nut. And I didn't want to go on about it and then not. And anyway, I wasn't a 100% sure what I wanted. Because there was just one problem with the whole plan, the whole pain thing. If only I could have a natural child birth without feeling any pain! But I thought that I'd give it a shot and just see what happened.

Anyway, the idea lasted well into my labor. All day, the nurses kept asking me if I wanted drugs, and I said no. Honestly, apparently I was having contractions but they didn't seem that bad. My doctor came late in the afternoon and said that it was a good time to get an epidural if I wanted one. I said no, I was doing great. Well, early that evening, the pain started. I felt my first real contraction, and I started to cave. The next one came around and my mind was pretty much made up. But just for kicks, I endured a few more and then rang the call button.

And that was that. I've decided now that natural child birth is WAY overrated. It turned out that I had to wait over an hour before they could actually give me my epidural, so I got a fairly good taste of what child birth was all about. And I gotta say, if you can do it, kudos to you, but I'm going back to my epidural in the parking lot next time around. Though actually, as it turns out, I'll have it easier than that even next time around, but I'll have to save that for my next post.