Recently, I was on a friend of a friend's blog and she was ranting about people who liken having pets to having a child. Essentially, she was po'd that people did it and believes that there is no comparison. She's a new mom who I'm guessing has never had a pet. I don't really know this girl, so the subject is unlikely to ever come up in person, but I was offended by the post and felt like venting about it somewhere.
As a dog owner and recent parent, I think that's crap. Sure, there are pet owners and PET OWNERS. Of course, there are weirdos who dress their dogs up in children's clothing and carry them around in their purses and speak to them in baby talk. Can we just agree that those people are from another planet and leave them out of the discussion? And sure, I know that there are obvious differences. I didn't give birth to my dogs. I know that they're not physically a part of me the same way my baby is. And yeah, there's a life span difference, and I hope that my daughter will be around long after my dogs are.
But anyone who's ever spent a night at the emergency vet with their dog knows that in so many ways, the experience is almost exactly like being there with your child. G's had Bandit for over 15 years, longer than he's known me. He's spent money on vet bills when he could barely afford to eat (but always plenty in the budget for alcohol of course) in college. We've woken up with her every 2 hours in the middle of the night when she couldn't go any longer without having to be let out. We've watched her struggle now in her old age. A few weeks ago, when we thought her time had come, neither G nor I could bare to even think of it let alone say the words aloud. When the moment does really come, I know that I will feel like I've lost something precious. Maybe it won't be like losing a child, but honestly, I've never lost a child, so how would I know. Neither has this girl. So who is she to tell me that it's not every bit as heartbreaking.
When the vet told me that Mia had such severe hip dysplasia that she was amazed that my puppy could even walk, I sat in my car and cried. I used to watch G playing with Mia and that was probably the first time I realized that he'd make a pretty awesome dad. I know so many pet owners who invest their hearts into their pets, so on behalf of all of them, I'm offended. When we had the baby, of course I knew that life would change. But call me cheesy, I never saw our kid (no matter how much I instantly and intensely I fell in love with her) as a replacement for our dogs. Yes, they get less attention now. But when G and I combined households, Mia suddenly went from an only child to one of three. So having a baby, in some ways, I see as adding to the brood.
This week, as I sit at the hospital with all kinds of time on my hands, I'm struck more than ever of the similarities as well as the differences. Maybe it's different if you get your dog after you have a child. But for me, and for many others I'm sure, my pet was my baby for a long time. That doesn't change now that I have a "real baby."
This was the same girl, who a while back, blogged about how people who didn't have children had no right or excuse to be late. Really? I know we're biased, G and I have always had difficulties with time management. And sure, sometimes we were late for no reason, but other times, things came up that we hadn't foreseen. I would never tell a friend that her excuse for tardiness wasn't valid because she doesn't have a kid. I think mostly, I'm troubled by this, "having a child trumps everything" attitude. Oh puh-lease, you've had your kid for like a year, are you telling me you were never late before that? Or that people with kids get some sort of pass for being late? Sure, I'll grant that sometimes, when you're late and I've scheduled something around my child's nap or eating time, it's a bit of more of an inconvenience. But whatever, I'll deal with it the same as any other person deals with the inconvenience that tardiness brings (or if it keeps happening, stop hanging out with you just like you'd have the right to stop hanging out with me).
Seriously, it's not like our lives begin when we have kids or something. So get over it.
