Since Diya first got sick back in December, I feel like I've been on edge. Waiting for something worse to happen. Worrying that somehow we're doing something wrong with her, not carrying her properly in the brace, not thinking of something that we should be doing. Sometimes, I've been envious of other parents who worry about their babies sleeping or eating. Because it seems like those things you can google and find information about, sometimes way more than you really needed or wanted. A while back, I happened to be randomly reading an old email I sent to a friend when Diya was first born. It was frantic and tired and probably a tad bit dramatic. Sometimes I miss those days, those times when a friend could simply tell me to chill out and I can do it.
These days, my questions always seem a little more complicated and hard to find the answer to. We have a poop explosion in the cast, how the heck do I get it all out? Now that the cast is off, her legs are stained brown with poop, is there an easy trick to clean her? When she wakes up screaming at night, is she feeling pain? When I tell the day care to not sit her up without pillows and I come back to find her upright, without pillows, her legs spread out wide, did they just pop her hips back out? There's a decent online community for parents with hip kids, but it's not quite the same. Our doctor is awesome but doesn't really know about the day-to-day practical stuff. Mostly, this has been all been exercise for Gregg and I in creativity and fending for ourselves.
And honestly, I feel a bit justified for being a worrywart. Because when I first worried that the cause of Diya's infection in December was something bigger, it turned out that it was. And then they told us she had even more issues with her hip. But it's hard now for me to let things go and relax.
So last week, when Diya started waking up at night screaming, I again went through the usual checklist. This has happened before actually -- when we first put her in the harness, then again after the brace went on. This time, it seemed to get worse and worse instead of improving with time. First, it happened only occasionally. Then every couple of hours. Then maybe every 20-30 minutes. Most of the time, she let out a few screams and then fell back asleep.
It killed me not to go in there to her (well, it did initially. Now I'm so sleep deprived that I'll doze off a bit and then realize that she did too). But she usually has her eyes closed while she's doing this. So going in makes it worse. Most of the time, she's already quiet before we get in there and we just end up waking her up again. Within a minute or two, she settles back down, tosses for a while but eventually falls asleep. Unless she loses her blankie during all the tossing and throwing. Then it's on until Gregg goes into give it back to her. So I guess in a way, we're lucky that she falls back to sleep mostly on her own. But then it sucks that it's happening so frequently because it means that I haven't slept for more than a 2-3 hour block in an awfully long time. I've been mostly a walking zombie and it's amazing that I've even been functioning at work at all.
During the weekend, she was cranky and didn't want to nap either. It reminded me of when she was 2 months old (you know, those early days that I so do not want to live over again, even though I just finished saying how I miss those days). The only thing that seemed to console her was going outside, so it meant that the dogs got a lot of walks this weekend. For the whole week, Gregg and I wondered what was wrong. She's usually a great sleeper. I figured it had to be her hip. And I figured it was probably daycare somehow, because I was annoyed at our daycare, and she finally started back up there a couple of weeks ago. If anything, I figured it was the increased activity at daycare that was making her hips sore. We had some other fancy explanations floating around too and then, on Sat, we saw that she had 3 front teeth coming through on the top! So guess what? Nothing to see here, just good old-fashioned teething.
Also, now, as of yesterday, she has a cold.
And yesterday, she started at a new daycare. A Spanish immersion daycare! Where they believe that kids should be independent and do whatever they can for themselves as soon as they're ready. And where they seem unconcerned about her brace hindering her too much. When I put her down in the morning and pushed a few toys her way so that I could talk to the teacher, the teacher told me that they didn't normally do that. Do what? I asked. Hand kids toys apparently. How will she ever learn to crawl towards her toys on her own if we're always giving her what she wants? If she wants it, she will find a way to get it. Is it sad that my first thought was, OMG, my poor deprived baby!? They won't even let her play with toys here. She wailed and wailed the whole time I was there, too, so all in all, I was feeling like a terrible parent.
But oh, by the way, already last week, Diya started trying to crawl with her brace on. She doesn't quite do it yet, but she does slide and wiggle backwards now. So this morning, I set her down and what do you know, she scooted over a little bit, ran into a toy and then started pulling it towards her. And she smiled at the teacher when she saw her, so clearly no one was too abusive to her yesterday.
And THEN, the huge news is that on Tues, we had a doctor's appointment. Diya got the first set of x-rays and guess what? Her hips are doing great! We didn't somehow manage to pop it out of socket again, like I'd been freaking out about. It's still exactly where it needs to be. Even better, the pelvic bone is already starting to re-align itself against the femoral bone. It's angled less sharply than it was before. In fact, the doctor said that Diya was ahead of schedule! AND we can already see the little ball developing between the pelvis and femur (when Diya's hip was out of the socket, that ball didn't form). It'll take a while for that hip to catch up to the normal left one, but the fact that we can see the ball already alleviates a little more fear about various complications. Honestly, I didn't quite catch all of it, pretty much tuned out after I heard that our little champ was AHEAD OF SCHEDULE.
So anyway, I guess all in all, what I mean to say is that it's been a bit rough lately, but suddenly this week, I find myself feeling a little lighter. When I called the daycare a little while ago, the director told me that Diya was doing very well, cold and teething aside. She's a very good baby, she said. Of course, I know this, but I'm probably biased. And she said, she's worked with many over the years, and she knows -- we definitely have a good one. So HA, in your face, hip dysplasia and everything else. My kid's doing pretty darn well.
These days, my questions always seem a little more complicated and hard to find the answer to. We have a poop explosion in the cast, how the heck do I get it all out? Now that the cast is off, her legs are stained brown with poop, is there an easy trick to clean her? When she wakes up screaming at night, is she feeling pain? When I tell the day care to not sit her up without pillows and I come back to find her upright, without pillows, her legs spread out wide, did they just pop her hips back out? There's a decent online community for parents with hip kids, but it's not quite the same. Our doctor is awesome but doesn't really know about the day-to-day practical stuff. Mostly, this has been all been exercise for Gregg and I in creativity and fending for ourselves.
And honestly, I feel a bit justified for being a worrywart. Because when I first worried that the cause of Diya's infection in December was something bigger, it turned out that it was. And then they told us she had even more issues with her hip. But it's hard now for me to let things go and relax.
So last week, when Diya started waking up at night screaming, I again went through the usual checklist. This has happened before actually -- when we first put her in the harness, then again after the brace went on. This time, it seemed to get worse and worse instead of improving with time. First, it happened only occasionally. Then every couple of hours. Then maybe every 20-30 minutes. Most of the time, she let out a few screams and then fell back asleep.
It killed me not to go in there to her (well, it did initially. Now I'm so sleep deprived that I'll doze off a bit and then realize that she did too). But she usually has her eyes closed while she's doing this. So going in makes it worse. Most of the time, she's already quiet before we get in there and we just end up waking her up again. Within a minute or two, she settles back down, tosses for a while but eventually falls asleep. Unless she loses her blankie during all the tossing and throwing. Then it's on until Gregg goes into give it back to her. So I guess in a way, we're lucky that she falls back to sleep mostly on her own. But then it sucks that it's happening so frequently because it means that I haven't slept for more than a 2-3 hour block in an awfully long time. I've been mostly a walking zombie and it's amazing that I've even been functioning at work at all.
During the weekend, she was cranky and didn't want to nap either. It reminded me of when she was 2 months old (you know, those early days that I so do not want to live over again, even though I just finished saying how I miss those days). The only thing that seemed to console her was going outside, so it meant that the dogs got a lot of walks this weekend. For the whole week, Gregg and I wondered what was wrong. She's usually a great sleeper. I figured it had to be her hip. And I figured it was probably daycare somehow, because I was annoyed at our daycare, and she finally started back up there a couple of weeks ago. If anything, I figured it was the increased activity at daycare that was making her hips sore. We had some other fancy explanations floating around too and then, on Sat, we saw that she had 3 front teeth coming through on the top! So guess what? Nothing to see here, just good old-fashioned teething.
Also, now, as of yesterday, she has a cold.
And yesterday, she started at a new daycare. A Spanish immersion daycare! Where they believe that kids should be independent and do whatever they can for themselves as soon as they're ready. And where they seem unconcerned about her brace hindering her too much. When I put her down in the morning and pushed a few toys her way so that I could talk to the teacher, the teacher told me that they didn't normally do that. Do what? I asked. Hand kids toys apparently. How will she ever learn to crawl towards her toys on her own if we're always giving her what she wants? If she wants it, she will find a way to get it. Is it sad that my first thought was, OMG, my poor deprived baby!? They won't even let her play with toys here. She wailed and wailed the whole time I was there, too, so all in all, I was feeling like a terrible parent.
But oh, by the way, already last week, Diya started trying to crawl with her brace on. She doesn't quite do it yet, but she does slide and wiggle backwards now. So this morning, I set her down and what do you know, she scooted over a little bit, ran into a toy and then started pulling it towards her. And she smiled at the teacher when she saw her, so clearly no one was too abusive to her yesterday.
And THEN, the huge news is that on Tues, we had a doctor's appointment. Diya got the first set of x-rays and guess what? Her hips are doing great! We didn't somehow manage to pop it out of socket again, like I'd been freaking out about. It's still exactly where it needs to be. Even better, the pelvic bone is already starting to re-align itself against the femoral bone. It's angled less sharply than it was before. In fact, the doctor said that Diya was ahead of schedule! AND we can already see the little ball developing between the pelvis and femur (when Diya's hip was out of the socket, that ball didn't form). It'll take a while for that hip to catch up to the normal left one, but the fact that we can see the ball already alleviates a little more fear about various complications. Honestly, I didn't quite catch all of it, pretty much tuned out after I heard that our little champ was AHEAD OF SCHEDULE.
So anyway, I guess all in all, what I mean to say is that it's been a bit rough lately, but suddenly this week, I find myself feeling a little lighter. When I called the daycare a little while ago, the director told me that Diya was doing very well, cold and teething aside. She's a very good baby, she said. Of course, I know this, but I'm probably biased. And she said, she's worked with many over the years, and she knows -- we definitely have a good one. So HA, in your face, hip dysplasia and everything else. My kid's doing pretty darn well.
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