Well, I know it's been a while since I posted, so it's time to get back on track. I guess there wasn't much going on around here. I mean, nothing really. The little D turned 2 a few months ago. TWO!!! She went in for surgery 10 days later, and then went in for a second attempt a few weeks after that. We were hospitalized a few times. She was on a 2-week course of antibiotic treatment that required her to have a long-term IV line (well, you know, for 2 weeks at least). And after it all, she potty trained. Oh yah, by the way, she's potty trained now. And I'm 31 weeks pregnant. So sure, nothing major going on at all in our house. Just the same old, same old. Each of these, of course, deserves a post all on its own, and as usual, I've got plenty to say about it all now that I'm back on track.
But first things first. Something truly horrible happened last week, and I'm still trying to adjust. So for a long time now, I've gotten Brazilian waxes. That's right, I'm going there, so if you really don't want to know this about me, I'd suggest you skip today's post and wait for toddler updates tomorrow. Every 6 weeks or, I go to a lady that yanks off all my hair down there and I love it. It started off years ago with simple trims now and again during swimsuit season. And what can I say, it's like cocaine. You can't get enough. Before I knew it, it was everything but a strip, and now I just have them yank it all off. It hurts like hell, but man, the effect makes me crawling back for more every time.
This time, though, it had been months. The girl I recently started going to had a baby. A few days before my scheduled appointment. The nerve right? (She was great for a few stories though, I gotta say. Talk about hippy dippy -- she wasn't just about natural childbirth, she actually didn't get an ultrasound during her entire pregnancy because well, you know, women for centuries haven't gotten ultrasounds, so why does she need one). Anyway, so I thought I'd have another month or so to find some one, but instead, she emailed a few days before my appointment saying she thought labor was close and she just couldn't see anymore people for a while. Serves me right for pushing out my appointment until a few days before her due date.
So I stalled on finding some one new because it's always hard to find some one new. Some one that's good at this (though never painless. Lately I've only gone to estheticians who get rave reviews on being painless, but anyone that tries to tell you that a bikini wax is painless is just full of shit). So anyway, I stalled. Then couldn't find some one with an immediate opening. Before I knew it, several months had passed. And I was just itching for a wax already (LITERALLY itching, I mean, sorry to be gross).
Then I got the bright idea to at least trim a bit down there so it didn't become a rainforest. Which is a fine idea most of the time. I mean, I have a little trimmer that I've occasionally used. I guess it's not a big deal, though it's usually just to take the edge off until the next appointment. And that's when I realized. I grabbed my trimmer, a little mirror I have, some paper towels for easy clean up and started to go for it. . . Except whoa, I couldn't see past my belly. My hulking 30+ week pregnant belly that juts out like a basketball right in front of me. And no amount of twisting, turning, mirror twirling did anything. I gave it a go anyway, because I'm stupid like that, botched it horribly (I imagine anyway) and promptly scheduled an appointment with the next available Brazilian waxer. Even more horrifying than realizing that I'm at that point in my pregnancy (and have been for quite a while already, I think) was having to explain to my waxer why I was all patchy down there. Fun times.
But first things first. Something truly horrible happened last week, and I'm still trying to adjust. So for a long time now, I've gotten Brazilian waxes. That's right, I'm going there, so if you really don't want to know this about me, I'd suggest you skip today's post and wait for toddler updates tomorrow. Every 6 weeks or, I go to a lady that yanks off all my hair down there and I love it. It started off years ago with simple trims now and again during swimsuit season. And what can I say, it's like cocaine. You can't get enough. Before I knew it, it was everything but a strip, and now I just have them yank it all off. It hurts like hell, but man, the effect makes me crawling back for more every time.
This time, though, it had been months. The girl I recently started going to had a baby. A few days before my scheduled appointment. The nerve right? (She was great for a few stories though, I gotta say. Talk about hippy dippy -- she wasn't just about natural childbirth, she actually didn't get an ultrasound during her entire pregnancy because well, you know, women for centuries haven't gotten ultrasounds, so why does she need one). Anyway, so I thought I'd have another month or so to find some one, but instead, she emailed a few days before my appointment saying she thought labor was close and she just couldn't see anymore people for a while. Serves me right for pushing out my appointment until a few days before her due date.
So I stalled on finding some one new because it's always hard to find some one new. Some one that's good at this (though never painless. Lately I've only gone to estheticians who get rave reviews on being painless, but anyone that tries to tell you that a bikini wax is painless is just full of shit). So anyway, I stalled. Then couldn't find some one with an immediate opening. Before I knew it, several months had passed. And I was just itching for a wax already (LITERALLY itching, I mean, sorry to be gross).
Then I got the bright idea to at least trim a bit down there so it didn't become a rainforest. Which is a fine idea most of the time. I mean, I have a little trimmer that I've occasionally used. I guess it's not a big deal, though it's usually just to take the edge off until the next appointment. And that's when I realized. I grabbed my trimmer, a little mirror I have, some paper towels for easy clean up and started to go for it. . . Except whoa, I couldn't see past my belly. My hulking 30+ week pregnant belly that juts out like a basketball right in front of me. And no amount of twisting, turning, mirror twirling did anything. I gave it a go anyway, because I'm stupid like that, botched it horribly (I imagine anyway) and promptly scheduled an appointment with the next available Brazilian waxer. Even more horrifying than realizing that I'm at that point in my pregnancy (and have been for quite a while already, I think) was having to explain to my waxer why I was all patchy down there. Fun times.
No comments:
Post a Comment