So lately, I've been thinking a lot about relationships. In a jumbled kind of way, and for a variety of random reasons. For one thing, I was thinking about how cool it would be if G and I were one of those totally cute couples that people couldn't help but adore. Not the sickeningly sweet kind that engages in PDA all the time. But you know, the cool ones that people strive to be. Like Booth and Bones in that show "Bones" -- have you seen it? That's actually what had me thinking about it. They're this forensic anthropologist/FBI agent duo that solves crime. Awesome show! And the main characters aren't officially a couple but they're so cute. And honestly, I'm not one of those people that wanted Rachel + Ross to get together on Friends, or any one else on TV for that matter. But these guys are pretty bad ass. So, I've been trying to think of ways that G + I can be more like them. Any suggestions would be very helpful.
I think if he had to (you know, like if he were being tortured to name SOMETHING), G would describe our current relationship as something similar to that couple on Medium. She's the psycho; he's the rational and calm one. Sure, I don't see dead people or anything, but I'm pretty sure that's how he views our relationship most of the time. So clearly, we have a long way to go. Though I guess its not about how he sees our relationship. Really, it's about everyone else.
OK, I know what you're thinking - that man, she really must have a ton of time on her hands at that stupid training. And it's true, I definitely do.
But actually, I’ve been thinking about a lot of relationship-related stuff for a while. Lately, I’ve been feeling like it’s about time for some changes in my life. There’s a friend that I’ve been mad at and don’t really want to deal with anymore. And of course, I can’t say it because damn, it’s SO much harder to break it off with a friend than a boyfriend. Not that I was ever good at that either. I usually took the more passive, ignore-him-long-enough-and-eventually-he’ll-get-the-picture, approach. Also, my dog seems to love G way more than she does me, and I’ve been trying to figure out how to fix that. Terrible, right? I rescued that ungrateful b-atch when she was a tiny little puppy! Totally saved her from a brutal existence in a plush San Diego Humane Society where she had her own TV (but I mean, come on, we know it’s about more than material possessions!). AND, since coming back from India, I’ve wanted to be closer to my family. And oddly, it’s so much easier to imagine being closer to my family who lives across the continent than it is, say, my parents who live along the same coast.
My brother (who I’ve seen quite a bit of lately cuz I’m STILL stuck here in Auburn until the end of the week, but with more limited internet surfing/email time this week, ARGH!) made an interesting comment lately about how he finds family situations awkward. And that it probably stems back to our own complicated relationship with our parents. G’s commented on this before too, that when we go home to see our folks, my brothers and I waste no time running off to some other part of the house. It used to be our old bedrooms. But now, my parents have moved into this huge house that offers more opportunities for getting the heck away. G thinks it’s bizarre, but I don’t know. It’s kind of ingrained in us to get far away as quickly as possible.
The thing is, it’s so hard for me to forgive things. And I guess that’s where all my relationship problems come from (well, except the Mia thing, that’s just wrong). I hold on to every little slight, every wrong – imagined or real. So of course I can see myself easily building closer relationships with family that I barely see. They haven’t done anything to me. But my parents, my friends, I don’t know. That’s so hard. How do people do it? And it’s not just me, I hear about stuff all the time from other people too who are holding onto things from childhood, whether they realize they’re doing it or not.
And I guess that’s what all this has been about. I mean, sure, I’m bored, so I’ve started likening our lives to TV characters. But I guess I’m also curious. Cuz when G and I fight, that’s usually what it’s about too, me bringing something up that happened a long time ago. And honestly, there’s no way we can get close to having a solid TV-like relationship (where we look super cute and everyone looks at us jealously) until I learn to let things slide a bit more. So how does everyone else do it?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
India pics
So it occurred to me the other day that the only pictures I left you with of my cousin's wedding revolved around eating. Of course, that was a highlight, but some other stuff happened too. Plus, I realized that I can kill lots of time in my training class by captioning a lot of pictures, so I wanted to close out the trip with a few last photos.
A few days before the wedding, my mom, aunt and I got henna. This is a sample of the artist's amazing work on my mom's hands.
My cousin Vinod, the carefree bachelor, just before the wedding.
G and I on the van out to the wedding. Notice the slight sheen on our faces? Its cuz we were dripping sweat. Probably the worst day of the trip -- I thought the whole family was riding the van, and didn't want to be the odd ones out flying or taking the train. Turns out a lot of the smart people opted out of the group van and took the train. So now I know better, we should have flown. Its a 50 minute flight. So I don't know what possessed me to think the van would be more fun. For one, it was HOT. There was no A/C. Worse, we must have stopped 4 times. First, we stopped about 20 minutes after we stopped. Apparently the driver liked to smash a coconut for good luck at some temple. Yup, you heard me. Then, about half hour later, the driver wanted to stop to eat. OK, I'm sorry, we hired the van. Since when does some hired driver decide that he gets to stop whenever he wants to? And why wasn't anyone else pissed about this? Instead, my lovely family decided that it was a good time for us all to eat. Now, mind you, just before we left the house, we ate and had coffee (S. Indians LOVE coffee, a fact that drove G nuts since he doesn't drink coffee -- he got a lot of "so what do you want instead? Do you want BLACK coffee? Cuz you know, all white people drink their cofee black. Do you want tea?") Anyway, by the time we finished our meal (picnic style, food we'd brought, but ate sitting in the outdoor seating for a restaurant-- I'm sure the restaurant folks loved that), we were probably only a fraction of the way towards our destination but had been "on the road" for a good couple of hours. About a half hour after we set off again, G said he noticed we had pulled off the freeway and were heading somewhere other than Chennai, our destination. And suddenly we were sitting in traffic. We started to wonder what was going on, and then I found out -- now it was time for a coffee break. Ugh. So, to make a long story short, the total distance was about 220 miles. Amount of time this took: over 8 hours!!
The groom on the morning of the wedding, being greeted by his future in-laws.
My grandfather, still kicking it in his mid-80s, arriving for the wedding.
Vaibu, my cousin's daughter (not the cousin getting married), so practically my niece, and the new love of my life. How cute is she? She was super smart and chatty too. Probably had better conversations with her than some of the other wedding guests. I tell people how chatty she was, and I get a lot of "must run in the family" jokes. So maybe I shouldn't tell you this. But this is how adorable this little girl was. At one point, we got into a little "contest" about who was the bigger talker. We took a poll, and of course, everyone voted for her. Cuz of her age, I'm sure!!! I was feeling all competitve, but she is only 4, so maybe I should just give it up?
G, my bro, and I with the groom.
Some other cute guests, my only girl cousins on my mom's side --Dharini and Lakshmi Priya. The older one was reading A Tale of Two Cities in her downtime -- shall we say NERDY? So, of course, I felt an instant bond. :)
There's a point during the ceremony where the bride and groom just sit on a swing. Super exciting for everyone involved. :)
The official "tying of the knot." The part that's "tied" during the cermony is actually a piece of string. That part comes off in a few days, but the gold necklace stays on for life. I have one too -- it's loud, garish, and blingy. Just the kind of jewelry you can totally see me sporting on a daily basis right? In our case, G got one too, and he pulls it out whenever he feels like looking like a gangsta.
The happy bride and groom, just after the wedding.
My cousin, prepping for the near future? :)
. . . and here's the perfect opportunity, right here, with the "first night" bed. :) I think this used to be quite a bit more drama than it is now, with family members checking the sheets (you know, to make sure it's the bride's first time -- did I need to spell it out?). There was still a lot more attention to the whole thing that I would have liked, with my poor cousin having to endure all kinds of teasing, various family members getting together to decorate, and of course the happy couple having to wait for the most auspicious moment before entering the wedding suite. And apparently there's a whole progression involved. The groom has to wear a new outfit going in, an old outfit coming out in the morning (perhaps signifying his recent soiling? Though I think its only a requirement that the bride not be previously "soiled"). There's warm milk in the room that the bride is supposed to offer to the groom (cuz you know, nothing says "come get me" better than warm milk).
Throughout the whole thing, G and I kept remembering my parents' awkward attempts at creating this moment by offering us their bed for the momentous occasion. I think most of you have heard this story, no? Cuz you know, nothing says "come get me" better than your parents' bed. I guess it may have had something to with the fact that my parents had recently moved into a giant mansion but had no furniture in most of the rooms. Still, G + I opted to go out and buy an inflatable mattress from Bed, Bath, & Beyond and sleep downstairs and then return the mattress before we left town. Later, my brother told us that my parents had even changed the sheets for the ocassion. Well, if I had only known that sooner . . .
The day after the wedding, the bride and groom engage in a series of games that are pretty silly but entertaining. I guess it evolved from the olden days when the bride and groom were both kids, and they needed to do something during the wedding to entertain them (it being their day and all). So the games are just that, geared for 10-12 year olds. But my cousin and his wife were great sports and joked around during the whole thing, so it was a lot of fun for all.
The bride and groom entering their new home for the first time as a married couple. Again, as with most Indian "firsts", lots of blessings to be performed in order to start them off right. At the most auspicious moment, of course, which happened to be some random hour in the middle of the wedding ceremony.
A few days before the wedding, my mom, aunt and I got henna. This is a sample of the artist's amazing work on my mom's hands.
My cousin Vinod, the carefree bachelor, just before the wedding.
G and I on the van out to the wedding. Notice the slight sheen on our faces? Its cuz we were dripping sweat. Probably the worst day of the trip -- I thought the whole family was riding the van, and didn't want to be the odd ones out flying or taking the train. Turns out a lot of the smart people opted out of the group van and took the train. So now I know better, we should have flown. Its a 50 minute flight. So I don't know what possessed me to think the van would be more fun. For one, it was HOT. There was no A/C. Worse, we must have stopped 4 times. First, we stopped about 20 minutes after we stopped. Apparently the driver liked to smash a coconut for good luck at some temple. Yup, you heard me. Then, about half hour later, the driver wanted to stop to eat. OK, I'm sorry, we hired the van. Since when does some hired driver decide that he gets to stop whenever he wants to? And why wasn't anyone else pissed about this? Instead, my lovely family decided that it was a good time for us all to eat. Now, mind you, just before we left the house, we ate and had coffee (S. Indians LOVE coffee, a fact that drove G nuts since he doesn't drink coffee -- he got a lot of "so what do you want instead? Do you want BLACK coffee? Cuz you know, all white people drink their cofee black. Do you want tea?") Anyway, by the time we finished our meal (picnic style, food we'd brought, but ate sitting in the outdoor seating for a restaurant-- I'm sure the restaurant folks loved that), we were probably only a fraction of the way towards our destination but had been "on the road" for a good couple of hours. About a half hour after we set off again, G said he noticed we had pulled off the freeway and were heading somewhere other than Chennai, our destination. And suddenly we were sitting in traffic. We started to wonder what was going on, and then I found out -- now it was time for a coffee break. Ugh. So, to make a long story short, the total distance was about 220 miles. Amount of time this took: over 8 hours!!
The groom on the morning of the wedding, being greeted by his future in-laws.
My grandfather, still kicking it in his mid-80s, arriving for the wedding.
Vaibu, my cousin's daughter (not the cousin getting married), so practically my niece, and the new love of my life. How cute is she? She was super smart and chatty too. Probably had better conversations with her than some of the other wedding guests. I tell people how chatty she was, and I get a lot of "must run in the family" jokes. So maybe I shouldn't tell you this. But this is how adorable this little girl was. At one point, we got into a little "contest" about who was the bigger talker. We took a poll, and of course, everyone voted for her. Cuz of her age, I'm sure!!! I was feeling all competitve, but she is only 4, so maybe I should just give it up?
G, my bro, and I with the groom. 
Some other cute guests, my only girl cousins on my mom's side --Dharini and Lakshmi Priya. The older one was reading A Tale of Two Cities in her downtime -- shall we say NERDY? So, of course, I felt an instant bond. :)
There's a point during the ceremony where the bride and groom just sit on a swing. Super exciting for everyone involved. :) The official "tying of the knot." The part that's "tied" during the cermony is actually a piece of string. That part comes off in a few days, but the gold necklace stays on for life. I have one too -- it's loud, garish, and blingy. Just the kind of jewelry you can totally see me sporting on a daily basis right? In our case, G got one too, and he pulls it out whenever he feels like looking like a gangsta.
The happy bride and groom, just after the wedding.
My cousin, prepping for the near future? :)
. . . and here's the perfect opportunity, right here, with the "first night" bed. :) I think this used to be quite a bit more drama than it is now, with family members checking the sheets (you know, to make sure it's the bride's first time -- did I need to spell it out?). There was still a lot more attention to the whole thing that I would have liked, with my poor cousin having to endure all kinds of teasing, various family members getting together to decorate, and of course the happy couple having to wait for the most auspicious moment before entering the wedding suite. And apparently there's a whole progression involved. The groom has to wear a new outfit going in, an old outfit coming out in the morning (perhaps signifying his recent soiling? Though I think its only a requirement that the bride not be previously "soiled"). There's warm milk in the room that the bride is supposed to offer to the groom (cuz you know, nothing says "come get me" better than warm milk).
Throughout the whole thing, G and I kept remembering my parents' awkward attempts at creating this moment by offering us their bed for the momentous occasion. I think most of you have heard this story, no? Cuz you know, nothing says "come get me" better than your parents' bed. I guess it may have had something to with the fact that my parents had recently moved into a giant mansion but had no furniture in most of the rooms. Still, G + I opted to go out and buy an inflatable mattress from Bed, Bath, & Beyond and sleep downstairs and then return the mattress before we left town. Later, my brother told us that my parents had even changed the sheets for the ocassion. Well, if I had only known that sooner . . .
The day after the wedding, the bride and groom engage in a series of games that are pretty silly but entertaining. I guess it evolved from the olden days when the bride and groom were both kids, and they needed to do something during the wedding to entertain them (it being their day and all). So the games are just that, geared for 10-12 year olds. But my cousin and his wife were great sports and joked around during the whole thing, so it was a lot of fun for all. 
The bride and groom entering their new home for the first time as a married couple. Again, as with most Indian "firsts", lots of blessings to be performed in order to start them off right. At the most auspicious moment, of course, which happened to be some random hour in the middle of the wedding ceremony.
Friday, September 18, 2009
notes from the underground
So I'm still here and still loving it. On Wed afternoon, I was walking to the bathroom and just randomly tripped over my feet and fell. Now I have this big rug burn on my elbow and a bruise on my knee. Several people happened to be walking past, and I'd have to say that was probably my all time low point. Until Thurs morning rolled around, and I realized I still had 7 more days of training fun.
A few glasses of wine at lunch goes A LONG way towards tuning out the instructors for the rest of the day. I think my goal this weekend is to find a flask so that my mornings become a bit easier to bear also.
Surprisingly (or maybe not if you know me), my fall on Wed was completely unaffected by alcohol.
I think I've been experiencing some serious racial profiling. The annoying security guard at the front door always seems to single me out for not wearing my badge (this ugly green thing that weighs at least a pound) around ALL the time, instead of just carrying it and holding it out as I walk in. At least I thought it was racial profiling until the instructor mentioned she had had an issue with him, too. She also pointed out that he didn't have much else to do, one of the truly funny things she's said all week.
I discovered who the crazy person was in the other class. By asking loudly who the crazy person was. She was sitting just a few feet away, so it was easy for people to point her out.
I have a new favorite website. And you guys, its not just cuz I'm bored. Its seriously the funniest thing ever. You have to check it out. Its called dickipedia, and its a spoof of wikipedia (though unrelated to it). Its from the writers at Huffington Post (also a great site) and they basically have entries on various famous dicks. The ones about Sarah Palin, Dick Cheney, and Mel Gibson are absolutely hilarious. Its made my week so much more bearable. There have been moments when I thought I might actually start cracking up during class (especially when I was buzzed yesterday), and since class is not at all funny, that might have raised a few eyebrows.
Another distraction has been something G sent me this morning. It turns out that not only is Walmart known for helping people, they're also great for attracting some serious white trash. Big shocker, right? And there's a site where people submit pictures of classic Walmart shoppers that they've seen.
I'm telling you guys, this whole training has been so educational. I think the class has more than surpassed what I'm sure were the government's expectations. By the end of next week, I should be very well prepared for a career as an alcoholic (possibly pot-smoking and morphine-injecting) celebrity junkie with a deep appreciation for the world of useless Internet surfing. Well worth the thousands of dollars they're spending to have me here.
A few glasses of wine at lunch goes A LONG way towards tuning out the instructors for the rest of the day. I think my goal this weekend is to find a flask so that my mornings become a bit easier to bear also.
Surprisingly (or maybe not if you know me), my fall on Wed was completely unaffected by alcohol.
I think I've been experiencing some serious racial profiling. The annoying security guard at the front door always seems to single me out for not wearing my badge (this ugly green thing that weighs at least a pound) around ALL the time, instead of just carrying it and holding it out as I walk in. At least I thought it was racial profiling until the instructor mentioned she had had an issue with him, too. She also pointed out that he didn't have much else to do, one of the truly funny things she's said all week.
I discovered who the crazy person was in the other class. By asking loudly who the crazy person was. She was sitting just a few feet away, so it was easy for people to point her out.
I have a new favorite website. And you guys, its not just cuz I'm bored. Its seriously the funniest thing ever. You have to check it out. Its called dickipedia, and its a spoof of wikipedia (though unrelated to it). Its from the writers at Huffington Post (also a great site) and they basically have entries on various famous dicks. The ones about Sarah Palin, Dick Cheney, and Mel Gibson are absolutely hilarious. Its made my week so much more bearable. There have been moments when I thought I might actually start cracking up during class (especially when I was buzzed yesterday), and since class is not at all funny, that might have raised a few eyebrows.
Another distraction has been something G sent me this morning. It turns out that not only is Walmart known for helping people, they're also great for attracting some serious white trash. Big shocker, right? And there's a site where people submit pictures of classic Walmart shoppers that they've seen.
I'm telling you guys, this whole training has been so educational. I think the class has more than surpassed what I'm sure were the government's expectations. By the end of next week, I should be very well prepared for a career as an alcoholic (possibly pot-smoking and morphine-injecting) celebrity junkie with a deep appreciation for the world of useless Internet surfing. Well worth the thousands of dollars they're spending to have me here.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
a taste of hell
So I'm in a training class near Seattle for a few weeks, and so far its been excruciating. Wait, did I say that? I meant exciting.
First off, its not in Seattle. Its in Auburn, about 45 minutes south of Seattle, in this amazing industrial area that's full of awesome things to do. On our first day, my co-worker and I ventured out for lunch and downtown Auburn was largely boarded up, clearly having been affected by the economy. Before the economy tanked, I'm sure this was a booming town with lots of life. On Yelp, there were a whopping 3 places with reviews within a few mile radius, and one of them was called Big Daddy's. I suggested going there and C, my co-worker, thought she wouldn't have enough singles to pay the dancers. Thank goodness we have 8 more days here, so plenty more opportunities. Fortunately on that first day, we were able to find the one restaurant that served alcohol, and I got right to it.
We're staying in Federal Way, Washington which is as amazing as it sounds. When asked about our best dinner options in the area, one of the girls in the class who lives locally suggested "McGrath's Fish House." And I think the training class did get together and go there that very night. Being anti-social, I decided to skip the group outing, though the whole fish house thing was tempting, I admit. But our options don't end there. Actually, Federal Way has proved to be a thriving metropolis complete with a Pho joint, a Denny's, and even an Indian restaurant. So we really lucked out. (Actually we kind of did, I heard the last time they had a training session here, the class stayed at a hotel that had nothing for miles around. The hotel shuttle took everyone to Safeway and that was about it.)
The government doesn't pay for rental cars. Instead, they provide a shuttle that takes everyone to and from the training class every day. Which is so much better. Especially with the class being in this industrial complex, there's a little stink of high school to the whole experience, or maybe summer camp. For those of us that loved that period and want to relive it. Except I'm loving it SO much more this time around. Cuz OMG -- I totally have a rental car and can go off campus for lunch. And don't have to take the bus to school. C and I decided to split a rental car, and I have to say that it's probably the best decision we've made. Walking past the losers waiting for the shuttle yesterday was so worth it. And of course we totally have the option of hitting Big Daddy's for lunch which no one else does.
Training itself consists of the instructors reading verbatim a manual I already looked at when I first started work 3 months ago. But I hear it'll get much better next week, when we get to work on actual practice cases. You know, a lot like what we do at our jobs normally, except watered down for training purposes. So I got tons to look forward to. We have 2 instructors. One is this uptight lady pretending to be fun. The other is an older ready for retirement guy who seems about as bored teaching the material as I feel listening to him. There's a second class, and they seem to have gotten the stand up comedian lecturer. So I'm bummed about that. Plus I hear they have a crazy lady, and I'm bummed about that too. Think of how much more exciting this blog post would have been. People come from offices all across the country to attend the class, and a surprising majority of them seem to think this is the best job in the world. So I'm very curious about where they used to work.
About the best thing about the whole experience is that my co-worker C had to come at the same time. Of all the people at work I would have liked to come with, she's the one. For one thing, she's pregnant and will never be too drunk to drive. And, as has been pointed out by our co-workers, we're kind of work BFFs. So omg, how perfect right? We can totally pass notes during class! And she ran into an old co-worker of hers who now works at a different social security office and was lucky enough to comee to training at the same time. So the three of us spend a lot of time griping. And act better than everyone else by taking off in the rental car for trips into exciting Auburn. And C and I spend most of the day chatting through our interoffice communicator. Which has been a godsend. At moment we're trying to decide if we'll get asked to prom and by whom. Plus I noticed early on that one of the instructors is a little grammatically challenged so now we spend our time pointing out her verbal mistakes. And I will admit, the instructor provides great fodder in general with an unending supply of random phrases, which when you're bored out of your mind, is at least something to focus on. For example, yesterday she said something about Walmart being known for helping people. Really? Since when? Have you guys heard about this? Last I heard, Walmart was known for gender discrimination and skimping on health insurance. On another ocassion, she told us about how great morphine was. How awesome would it have been to have had some on hand? I mean, the drinking at lunch is all right, but it made me want to pee constantly and get sleepy. And unless I'm doing shots, I can't drink fast enough to get sufficiently drunk.
And its nice to have some one help pass the time. Yesterday, for example, when I was so bored that I couldn’t even think of something to google, C mentioned that she saw that it was Prince Harry's birthday (I had noticed that too, I'm suddenly very current on celebrity gossip). But she took it furher and started to wonder why Prince Harry looked so different than his dad and brother, so googled "Prince Harry's real father" and ran across an entire conspiracy theory about a Princess Diana affair. That had me entertained for a good 20 minutes. I think I can safely say that I would have never thought to google that on my own.
Plus, I'm working on my sarcasm font which I'll hopefully be able to patent and make millions. I've needed one a lot these last few days and am amazed there isn't one already. So I got all kinds of things going on right now. If my blogging is slim the next few days, you know why.
Still, despite the hours of entertainment, training has taken its toll. Yesterday, I emailed G and casually mentioned that I discovered 6-7 white strands in my hair (mostly to point out how bored I had been at the hotel and how terrible the lighting was). He immediately figured it had to do with the nightmare I've been forced to endure. Which is a whole new point I hadn't considered. Training is giving me gray hair!!! And at the end of the day yesterday, one of the coordinators saw me and said, "Oh wow, you look so beat down." I think that sums up my current state pretty darn well - beat down and deflated. On the plus side, its almost the end of the day Wed and the first week is almost half over. Only 7 days and five and a half hours to go.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Indian wedding
An Indian wedding is a bit of a free for all. Back when G and I were sending out invitations to our American ceremony, we had a bit of a problem with my mom’s friends all wanting to bring their neighbors and second cousins twice removed. And we had to politely explain that it wasn’t an Evite, that they couldn’t just add whoever they wanted to the RSVP card. I griped about it a lot, but honestly, this was what they were used to. At a typical Indian wedding, EVERYONE comes. And I mean anyone and everyone. The neighbors, the milkman, co-workers’ inlaw’s grandkids. In my cousin’s case, that entailed 750 of their nearest and dearest at its height. The guest list included everyone from my dad’s childhood friends to distant cousins. And actually the final number ended up being fewer than expected – 1000 invitations went out. And that didn’t even involve my entire family. They held a 2nd reception closer to where my family is from to make sure that those who were unable to travel for the wedding were still able to take part in the post wedding festivities.
Earlier this year, G and I had an awesome but relatively minor version of the traditional Indian marriage ceremony. It was cool to see it now in its full glory at my cousin’s wedding. It has been a while since I’ve gotten the chance to attend a relative’s wedding, and this was a first for G. So it was fun for both of us.
At a typical Brahmin South Indian wedding, it takes just moments to tie the knot. And literally, there’s knot tying involved. The guy knots a necklace around the bride’s neck. Of course he gets to walk around completely unhindered, picking up chicks as long as they’ll have him but that’s neither here nor there. Anyway, the heart of the ceremony lasts just seconds. And it’s almost always at some inconvenient time. We almost missed it (actually both my cousin's wedding and our own, now that I think of it) for example because we overslept. All of this stuff (like pretty much everything in my family) has to be done at the most “auspicious” moment. And apparently the gods have deemed the most auspicious moments to be the most inconvenient ones. G’s and my ceremony was on a Fri morning at 8 am, very conducive to having guests attend.
So seriously you could blink and miss the main event. But the pre and post wedding festivities can last days. Our own ceremony was scrunched into one day. My cousin had pretty much the same elements but spread out over a couple of days. People come when they please, and talk throughout. The bride and groom go through their own thing, which involves reciting religious chants after the priest and being covered in smoke. The rest of the guests spend the time catching up. They go home in the middle of the day when everyone breaks for a nap, then change and come back in the evening.
And they eat. The food ROCKS. Well, it certainly did at my cousin’s wedding (ours did too but it wasn’t quite the same experience). The caterers set up shop at the wedding hall and served regular meals for 3 days. And I mean regular as in enough for a cow that munches constantly throughout the day. Food is served cafeteria style. People can show up anytime during the meal periods. They take a seat. The caterers set a long line of banana leaves and walk down the line slopping food on the leaf. It defies all logic because you’d think there’s no way this food can be good, but it kicks ass. I got sick one whole day at the start of the wedding and was SO bummed cuz I couldn’t eat (plus I got a lot of shit – no pun intended – from G since he was the white guy and totally fine).
The caterers setting up shop at the wedding hall.
The bride and groom eating their first meal together as a married couple.
The food trough
So anyway, overall, it was a good time. If you missed my Indian wedding, sucks to be you. If you ever get a chance to attend some one else's, I'd take it, cuz the food is THAT good. If you're really lucky, you might get to attend some other type of Indian wedding that involves drinking and dancing. But I don't know how good their food is, so I guess you take the good with the bad. :)
Earlier this year, G and I had an awesome but relatively minor version of the traditional Indian marriage ceremony. It was cool to see it now in its full glory at my cousin’s wedding. It has been a while since I’ve gotten the chance to attend a relative’s wedding, and this was a first for G. So it was fun for both of us.
At a typical Brahmin South Indian wedding, it takes just moments to tie the knot. And literally, there’s knot tying involved. The guy knots a necklace around the bride’s neck. Of course he gets to walk around completely unhindered, picking up chicks as long as they’ll have him but that’s neither here nor there. Anyway, the heart of the ceremony lasts just seconds. And it’s almost always at some inconvenient time. We almost missed it (actually both my cousin's wedding and our own, now that I think of it) for example because we overslept. All of this stuff (like pretty much everything in my family) has to be done at the most “auspicious” moment. And apparently the gods have deemed the most auspicious moments to be the most inconvenient ones. G’s and my ceremony was on a Fri morning at 8 am, very conducive to having guests attend.
So seriously you could blink and miss the main event. But the pre and post wedding festivities can last days. Our own ceremony was scrunched into one day. My cousin had pretty much the same elements but spread out over a couple of days. People come when they please, and talk throughout. The bride and groom go through their own thing, which involves reciting religious chants after the priest and being covered in smoke. The rest of the guests spend the time catching up. They go home in the middle of the day when everyone breaks for a nap, then change and come back in the evening.
And they eat. The food ROCKS. Well, it certainly did at my cousin’s wedding (ours did too but it wasn’t quite the same experience). The caterers set up shop at the wedding hall and served regular meals for 3 days. And I mean regular as in enough for a cow that munches constantly throughout the day. Food is served cafeteria style. People can show up anytime during the meal periods. They take a seat. The caterers set a long line of banana leaves and walk down the line slopping food on the leaf. It defies all logic because you’d think there’s no way this food can be good, but it kicks ass. I got sick one whole day at the start of the wedding and was SO bummed cuz I couldn’t eat (plus I got a lot of shit – no pun intended – from G since he was the white guy and totally fine).
The caterers setting up shop at the wedding hall.
The bride and groom eating their first meal together as a married couple. The food trough
So anyway, overall, it was a good time. If you missed my Indian wedding, sucks to be you. If you ever get a chance to attend some one else's, I'd take it, cuz the food is THAT good. If you're really lucky, you might get to attend some other type of Indian wedding that involves drinking and dancing. But I don't know how good their food is, so I guess you take the good with the bad. :)
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Flu-induced ramblings
The last time I went to India, back in 2003, SARS was all over the news. I flew through Hong Kong, and about 90% of the people at the airport were sporting face masks. I laughed at how silly they looked, of course. But soon after I got to India, I got terribly sick, a flu like I'd never had before. It knocked me down for about 2 weeks, and those weeks are a jumbled haze. I remember sleeping, waking up with the chills, ocassionally eating, throwing up, and feeling generally like I'd rather be dead. Soon after I came home, I was sick again, and I would get so cold with fever that I'd crawl into my -20 degree cold weather sleeping bag and wait to sweat it out. Of course it must have been SARS. What else could it have been, right? I flew through Hong Kong both going and coming, and wasn't SARS especially rampant in Asia? Plus it served me right for not wearing a dorky mask (which by the way, I don't get -- a lot of people who wear them don't cover their noses with them - doesn't that defeat the purpose). Years later, I regretted not writing a memoir of my experience, because really who else could say that they'd had SARS twice and lived to tell the story. My stories of being at death's door would surely have been inspirational to many.
For this most recent swine flu epidemic, I've been more prepared. Back in May, I volunteered at a local middle school to teach a couple of classes about the American legal system. The night before I was to go, the group's organizer emailed all volunteers and informed us that a small handful of the students at the school had just been diagnosed with the swine flu. The kids hadn't been in school for days, and it didn't look like anyone else had been affected. But she would completely understand if we chose not to participate, she said. Several of the volunteers did opt out at that point, citing small children at home so they couldn't afford to get sick. Not me. In my mind, I was already preparing my self deprecating remarks, my book deal detailing my battle with the world's newest deadliest disease, the press conference. No way was I about to let another great opportunity pass me up. OK, if nothing else, it would make for a great blog entry. But you of course never heard about this volunteer experience because I survived it, completely unscathed. Not even a sniffle. Sigh.
On our trip to India, swine flu panic seemed widespread, as Asian countries see it as something coming in from the US and Mexico. So when we landed at the Chennai airport, all passengers were asked questions about our health, and a health department official took everyone's temperature before letting us through to customs. People departing at Hong Kong had to go through the same procedure. Somehow though, they must have let some one slip through the cracks, because somebody got me sick. Now. When I wasn't ready for it.
Since coming back, G and I have been both miserable. G started getting sick on Fri, me early Sat morning. Fever, chills, congestion, diarreah for him, vomiting for me. He's a little better now which is good because I'm a terrible sick person and need all the attention I can get. I've been coughing up a lung and have been pretty much bedridden since Sat. My temperature went up to 104 degrees on Sun night too, which might have actually sped up G's recovery a bit just with him being so worried about me. We went to the doctor after that, and I was ready for a quarantine. Maybe a little panic at who I've been in contact with since coming back into the country. Maybe a little write up in our local paper.
Sadly, none of these things happened. In fact the doctor seemed unimpressed. I repeated the 104 degree temperature spike several times even but he just nodded with this little faux sympathetic smile. He even shook my hand even though I had just coughed into it. And then reached for the door handle on his way out. Clearly, he was not at all concerned. Man, what does a girl have to do to get a little attention around here? (Though I will say that G's been giving me plenty, so I guess its not a total waste). And in fact, walking out of the urgent care, I realized that the room was filled with people coughing and looking like they were at death's door. All probably convinced that this was the worst sickness of their lives.
So anyway, I guess there are no book deals in my future. And honestly, I doubt I even have swine flu (shocker, huh?). I've been reading all about it since I slept all day so can't sleep anymore. And do you know that there's really no way to tell the difference between swine flu and anything else? So I don't even get what the big deal is anymore. And anyway, all they seem to care about now are pregnant women and swine flu. So I could be dying from it and still wouldn't make the local papers.
This stinks. And I still feel miserable.
For this most recent swine flu epidemic, I've been more prepared. Back in May, I volunteered at a local middle school to teach a couple of classes about the American legal system. The night before I was to go, the group's organizer emailed all volunteers and informed us that a small handful of the students at the school had just been diagnosed with the swine flu. The kids hadn't been in school for days, and it didn't look like anyone else had been affected. But she would completely understand if we chose not to participate, she said. Several of the volunteers did opt out at that point, citing small children at home so they couldn't afford to get sick. Not me. In my mind, I was already preparing my self deprecating remarks, my book deal detailing my battle with the world's newest deadliest disease, the press conference. No way was I about to let another great opportunity pass me up. OK, if nothing else, it would make for a great blog entry. But you of course never heard about this volunteer experience because I survived it, completely unscathed. Not even a sniffle. Sigh.
On our trip to India, swine flu panic seemed widespread, as Asian countries see it as something coming in from the US and Mexico. So when we landed at the Chennai airport, all passengers were asked questions about our health, and a health department official took everyone's temperature before letting us through to customs. People departing at Hong Kong had to go through the same procedure. Somehow though, they must have let some one slip through the cracks, because somebody got me sick. Now. When I wasn't ready for it.
Since coming back, G and I have been both miserable. G started getting sick on Fri, me early Sat morning. Fever, chills, congestion, diarreah for him, vomiting for me. He's a little better now which is good because I'm a terrible sick person and need all the attention I can get. I've been coughing up a lung and have been pretty much bedridden since Sat. My temperature went up to 104 degrees on Sun night too, which might have actually sped up G's recovery a bit just with him being so worried about me. We went to the doctor after that, and I was ready for a quarantine. Maybe a little panic at who I've been in contact with since coming back into the country. Maybe a little write up in our local paper.
Sadly, none of these things happened. In fact the doctor seemed unimpressed. I repeated the 104 degree temperature spike several times even but he just nodded with this little faux sympathetic smile. He even shook my hand even though I had just coughed into it. And then reached for the door handle on his way out. Clearly, he was not at all concerned. Man, what does a girl have to do to get a little attention around here? (Though I will say that G's been giving me plenty, so I guess its not a total waste). And in fact, walking out of the urgent care, I realized that the room was filled with people coughing and looking like they were at death's door. All probably convinced that this was the worst sickness of their lives.
So anyway, I guess there are no book deals in my future. And honestly, I doubt I even have swine flu (shocker, huh?). I've been reading all about it since I slept all day so can't sleep anymore. And do you know that there's really no way to tell the difference between swine flu and anything else? So I don't even get what the big deal is anymore. And anyway, all they seem to care about now are pregnant women and swine flu. So I could be dying from it and still wouldn't make the local papers.
This stinks. And I still feel miserable.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Back!!
So, anybody miss me? Come on, admit it, just a little right?
OK, I have lots of stories to share but its not going to happen today. Today, I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm back in one piece and will be returning to my usual every-other-day or so posting shortly. As much as I wanted to blog while I was in India, it was hard to get my thoughts in order without my morning commute. And something about sitting in an internet cafe rushing to check all my email as quickly as I could somehow didn't work for me.
Today, I'm at work, telling all my co-workers about my trip (like a broken record, the same stories over and over again to each co-worker as they see that I'm back), catching up on my emails and blogging, grabbing coffee with everyone, I guess doing some work, etc. So at the moment, I'm a little tired of my India stories. But I'm SO glad to be back in the land of toilet paper (and Western plumbing), hot water showers, eating with utensils, reasonable weather (i.e., I'm not dripping with sweat two seconds after showering), ACTUAL showers (instead of filling up a bucket and using a mug to clean up), running water and electricity, and beds. I know, it sounds like a horrible trip, huh? Chances are, you'll mostly hear about the difficulties over the next couple of posts, cuz that makes for much funnier posts. But actually, despite it all it was a pretty awesome trip, and the wedding was beautiful.
This weekend, we're meeting G's brother and his wife up kind of near Tahoe. But by towards the end of the weekend or early next week, I should be back on my regular blogging schedule. So more soon . . .
OK, I have lots of stories to share but its not going to happen today. Today, I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm back in one piece and will be returning to my usual every-other-day or so posting shortly. As much as I wanted to blog while I was in India, it was hard to get my thoughts in order without my morning commute. And something about sitting in an internet cafe rushing to check all my email as quickly as I could somehow didn't work for me.
Today, I'm at work, telling all my co-workers about my trip (like a broken record, the same stories over and over again to each co-worker as they see that I'm back), catching up on my emails and blogging, grabbing coffee with everyone, I guess doing some work, etc. So at the moment, I'm a little tired of my India stories. But I'm SO glad to be back in the land of toilet paper (and Western plumbing), hot water showers, eating with utensils, reasonable weather (i.e., I'm not dripping with sweat two seconds after showering), ACTUAL showers (instead of filling up a bucket and using a mug to clean up), running water and electricity, and beds. I know, it sounds like a horrible trip, huh? Chances are, you'll mostly hear about the difficulties over the next couple of posts, cuz that makes for much funnier posts. But actually, despite it all it was a pretty awesome trip, and the wedding was beautiful.
This weekend, we're meeting G's brother and his wife up kind of near Tahoe. But by towards the end of the weekend or early next week, I should be back on my regular blogging schedule. So more soon . . .
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