Flight Encounters

About a month ago, I went to Oregon to see my folks. After a frustrating drive up, a scenic drive around the SFO airport looking for the parking lot I had reserved a spot at, and an angry bout with my stupid GPS, I missed my flight to Eugene. Fortunately, there was a flight to Portland that had been delayed and still at the airport waiting to depart. I raced aross the airport and called my family to rearrange my ride.

Waiting to board, I called Gregg, as I always do when I feel bitchy and whiny and complained about my morning. I'll admit, it was in a fairly loud voice. Of course my voice is always loud, but turns up a few more notches even when I'm excited, if you can believe it. But I was shocked and annoyed to be shushed by nearby passengers. I of course blame the inherent bitchiness of people waiting to get on an airplane that's running over an hour late. Because god forbid that it be my fault. First, I got yelled at by a guy kinda near me to go somewhere else. I snapped back, telling him it was a public place and I can do whatever I want. But then this older couple defended the obnoxious jerk :) and I decided it was probably better left alone. So of course, I lowered my voice and continued complaining to G about what an angry group I had around me.

To be honest, I don't think I was that far off about the general short-temperedness of that particular group, and I'm not just saying it to absolve myself of any responsibility. I'm saying it cuz of this conversation I overheard once on the plane. I use the term "overheard" somewhat facetiously as the entire conversation is voices that were far louder than mine had been.

2 pm -- We receive our "please turn off all electronic devices" warning.

2:15 -- We're still on the runway.

Guy (passenger) sitting across the aisle and one seat in front me says to lady sitting in front of me: Is that your phone still on. You need to turn it off.

Lady: I'm turning it off.

Guy: You were supposed to have turned it off 15 minutes ago.

Lady: You know what sir, you need to mind your own business.

Guy: OK.

Lady: You know, how dare you. My granddaughter was just born. And I'm not there to see it. So if I want to look at new baby pictures of her, that's my business. I'm just sitting here minding my own business, so you need to mind your own business.

Silence.

Lady: Do you work for the airline? I don't see your uniform. So why don't you just sit there and mind your own business?

Silence.

Plane starts going down the runway. Lady turns her phone off.

Lady: See, I turned it off.

Woman sitting directly across the aisle from me and I look at each other, trying to keep from laughing

Guy: Good. Thank you.

Lady: I'm a 45yo woman and an adult. I know when to turn my phone off. And I know when to mind my own business. You apparently have no idea what it means to mind your own business. (Approximately another 2 minutes continuing in a similar vein. For a 45yo woman, she has a fairly limited vocabulary, I must say. )

Sadly, the Guy doesn't ask what I so desperately want to know, which is, is her son/daughter who just had this baby at a freakishly young age as ghetto as she is?

Guy (finally): Look, when I'm on the same flight as you, and you're endangering my life by using electronic devices, that is my business.

Lady: How am I endangering your life? I turned off my phone. Could you please explain to me how I endangered your life? You didn't die, did you?

Silence.

One minute later: I just don't understand how me looking at pictures of my baby granddaughter is your business.

Silence. Woman across the aisle and I exchange another glance and smile, particularly one minute later, when the Lady says again: You know, how old are you, sir? Obviously not old enough to know to mind your own business.

Frustrated passenger sitting in front of them: Lady, you've made your point. Can you please just be quiet now?

Lady: opens mouth, starts to say something, thinks better of it, and is finally, thankfully, silent. Woman across the aisle from me and I, realizing that the show is over, settle into our seats.

I'm thankful that some of the people sitting in front of this argument were the same people who had been around when I had been getting chewed out for speaking too loudly. Hopefully, this more recent farce is the encounter they remember from that particular flight.